Her boyfriend pressured her into one abortion, but she refused to let it happen again

At age 18, Melanie McDaniel found herself without a place to call home. Her father was abusive and violent, and she tried living with her mother, only to be subjected to advances by her mother’s boyfriend. With nowhere else to turn, she caved in to pressure from her boyfriend to drop out of college and move in with him. Six months later, she was pregnant, and he was coercing her to have an abortion.

Fear of being homeless and alone

McDaniel recounted the situation to Live Action News, explaining, “My boyfriend wanted me to have an abortion. I felt I shouldn’t bring a child into the chaotic life I was living. And I was afraid of being homeless because my boyfriend threatened to leave if I didn’t have the abortion.”

She was six weeks pregnant when she went to the local abortion business.

“I felt numb emotionally,” McDaniel said. “I felt it was the right thing to do under the circumstances. I didn’t ask any questions while there, I just wanted to get it over with.”

Her manager at work had undergone seven abortions and talked about it casually, as if it were normal. And for McDaniel, nothing changed after the abortion; she matter-of-factly went about her life. But six months later, she was pregnant again.

“I had been on a low-dose birth control pill to help with menstrual cramps, but didn’t realize it wasn’t effective until I got pregnant again," she explained.

Her boyfriend bought her an engagement ring, and the couple planned to marry. But then he changed his mind and pressured her to have another abortion. This time, McDaniel refused.

“I told him I wasn’t going to have a second abortion,” McDaniel said. “He left, moved to Florida, and we broke off the engagement.”

A divinely orchestrated connection 

McDaniel ultimately found herself six months pregnant and living alone in an apartment she couldn’t afford. Desperate, she went to the local pregnancy center in search of housing. Although she was helped with community services, the center didn’t have housing resources.

"It broke the woman’s heart that she didn’t have any housing referrals at the time," she explained.

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Then, a cousin shared Jesus with McDaniel, who went to church and surrendered her heart and life to Christ. Shortly afterward, a college student she knew from middle school returned to the United States from a missionary trip and appeared at McDaniel’s parents' home, looking for her.

“We got connected and decided to move in together,” McDaniel said. “Splitting the rent made it possible for me to live on my own.”

McDaniel continued to grow in her relationship with Jesus and experienced an easy pregnancy with her daughter. She got married and had another child. Her husband adopted her first daughter and together, they raised their two daughters.

“Although we later got divorced, he was a good father,” McDaniel said. 

But she noted that the deep wound left by her abortion had affected her parenting. She had suppressed her grief for so long that she felt as if she were always living in fear. Yet she didn’t realize she needed healing.

A desire to help other women led to her healing 

McDaniel started volunteering to help mentor young girls through "organizations that armed them with the tools to navigate the world in case they found themselves in crisis.”

She eventually remarried and adopted four children from the inner city of Nashville. While trying to help with a young, pregnant woman, she was introduced to Victoria Robinson, who hosted post abortion weekend retreats. 

“I was told I needed healing in order to truly be instrumental in a ministry helping other women,” McDaniel said. “But it wasn’t until I participated in the memorial service part at the retreat that I finally realized how much anguish I had been holding onto.”

That weekend, she came face-to-face with the grief that had been weighing her down for so many years, causing her to raise her children from a place of fear and uncertainty, wondering whether her daughters would make the same choices she had and often feeling powerless to protect them.

“I had to deal with abortion, divorce and all the other choices I had made that led me to this moment. It was a new season of self-awareness," she said.

Those days of healing helped her to realize the sanctity of life.

“I refused to have a second abortion mostly because I was afraid that if I did, I’d never be able to bear children again,” McDaniel said. “It still wasn’t a baby in mind at the time. But now I know differently.”

When her married daughter became pregnant, McDaniel eagerly followed each stage of pregnancy, wanting to be fully present for her daughter.

“I have gained an appreciation for why the pro-life movement fights so hard for life. I can see more clearly now that I’ve gone through the healing journey," she said.

As a redeemed woman in Christ, McDaniel became better equipped to help her other daughter, who became pregnant while attending college.

“She came to me, telling me she didn’t want to kill her baby,” McDaniel said. “I am grateful she chose not to travel the same path as I did. As a college student, she’ll have some challenges navigating as a single parent, but I will be with her every step of the way.” 

Abortion trauma is common

Abortion causes deep trauma that often stays buried for years and even decades, especially when women are pressured into abortion. Research shows that up to 64% of women who have had abortions did so while under some level of pressure. In addition, a report by the American Psychological Task Force on Abortion and Mental Health revealed that being pressured into an abortion is a significant risk factor for negative post-abortion psychological reactions. Given the opportunity to heal, women who have been through abortions can help other women choose life for their own children and avoid the pain that comes with abortion.