At age 17, Brittany Poppe was in love with a “bad boy” — one who didn’t follow the rules and wore a defiant attitude — and because her mother didn’t approve of their relationship, Poppe led a “double life” that led to an unexpected pregnancy and an abortion.
Poppe told Live Action News, “When I suspected I was pregnant, I asked my boyfriend to bring a test to my job at the mall. I was a bit in denial so when the test read positive, I couldn’t believe it. For me, abortion was the only option because I wanted to continue leading the life I had been living.”
Yet Poppe’s boyfriend was not in agreement with her decision to terminate the pregnancy. He proposed marriage and expressed a desire to raise their child together.
But Poppe was concerned that if she continued with the pregnancy, her double life would be revealed.
“He was studying to be a mechanic and felt he’d have the means to support us,” Poppe said. “His mom was a teen mother so he was confident we could make it work. But it just wasn’t a possibility for me. I didn’t want all my secrets and lies exposed.”
While Poppe realized that she had walked away from the conservative Christian values with which she had been raised, she convinced her boyfriend to go along with her plan. “He felt powerless and eventually became resigned to the fact that I didn’t want to continue with the pregnancy,” she said.
Making it ‘easy’
When she called the abortion clinic and told the staff she was under the legal age of 18, she was advised to pursue a judicial bypass so she could have the abortion without her mother’s knowledge or consent.
“The staff at the abortion clinic made it so easy to file for the judicial bypass,” Poppe said. “They took me down to the courthouse and took care of everything for me. I didn’t need to do anything.”
Her reluctant boyfriend drove her to the clinic and paid for the abortion.
“I had to get called out of school for the appointment so I had a friend pretend to be my mother,” Poppe said. “That way, I could get an excused absence and not raise any suspicions.”
While she was given the choice to take the abortion pill, Poppe chose instead to undergo a surgical procedure.
“I was afraid to have the abortion at home with my mother present,” Poppe said. “But I wasn’t given anything for the pain during surgery, and it was intolerable. The doctor who performed the abortion told me to wiggle my toes as a natural pain reliever, but it didn’t give me any relief.”
Afterward, while in the recovery room, she was counseled on birth control and was given a prescription for the birth control pill, despite her resistance.
Devastation
As she walked outside, Poppe saw sidewalk advocates surrounding the clinic.
“I saw the devastation on their faces. I locked eyes with a priest who looked at me with such sadness but also with compassion as he knelt and prayed,” she said. “I knew what I had done was wrong and felt such guilt.”
Two months later, Poppe’s mother discovered her secret. She was devastated to learn that her first grandchild’s life had been snuffed out in an abortion clinic.
Poppe was determined to be a runaway risk and was transferred to a group home. But Poppe remained with her boyfriend, “even though things were turbulent,” she said.
She eventually attended college but struggled with alcohol abuse and continued to make poor choices.
“I was such an angry person at the time and didn’t do well in college,” she said. “I just never lived up to my potential.”
A second pregnancy brings shame and fear
Ten years after her abortion, Poppe married. But the guilt and shame she had carried for a decade surfaced during her second pregnancy.
“I felt I didn’t deserve to become a mother,” she said. “I had this dreaded feeling that something was going to happen to me or to my baby. I did experience postpartum hemorrhaging, which doctors told me could have been linked to the abortion.”
Spiraling into depression, Poppe grappled with suicidal ideation, welcoming death to release her from her anguish. At the same time, she said, “I wanted to stay strong for my daughter. She’s the one who kept me going through the challenging times.”
Later, when she gave birth to a son, Poppe again experienced hemorrhaging.
“I was so devoid of joy by this point,” she said. “I wasn’t the mother my children deserved, and I wanted to be a better parent than I was. I desperate for help.”
Finding forgiveness
Poppe enrolled in a Christian Bible study for post-abortive women called “Forgiven and Set Free,” and at last found the restoration that had eluded her all those years. During her recovery, she felt God leading her to share her story with women across the state at small gatherings. But she felt an urge to do more.
“I started a podcast, ‘Abortion Recovery for Christian Women’ to spread the message of hope and salvation,” she explained. “I wanted to help other women not stay stuck in grief and shame like I had and to know of God’s love for them.”
In addition to her podcast, which ranks in the top 2% of Christian podcasts globally, Poppe now coaches post-abortive women through their healing journeys and co-leads “Forgiven and Set Free” Bible studies.
From deception and heartbreak to redemption, her mission today is to assist others in finding forgiveness and freedom and to raise awareness of the destruction that abortion brings.
“It’s vital that pro-life Christians break the stigma and extend compassion to those who are suffering as a result of abortion,” Poppe said. “And we need to realize how dangerous access to judicial bypass is for minors seeking to end pregnancies without parental consent or knowledge.”
