Conceived in Rape: A mother and daughter tell their powerful story

In a new video released by Live Action, a mother and daughter tell their powerful story of how love overcame something that was meant for evil.

Key Takeaways:

• A married woman who became the victim of a serial rapist in 1983 became pregnant with a baby girl as a result. Despite the difficulty, she chose life for her daughter.

• Today, she and her daughter are speaking out about what it was like to choose life after rape, to grow up with the knowledge of having been conceived as a result of rape, and more.

Conceived in R*pe, Born in Love: A Mother and Daughter’s Story

The Details:

Choosing Life

Mary Jane "MJ" Lockemy was the victim of a serial rapist who was assigned to a prison work release program and had his own car. He used that amount of freedom to sexually assault Lockemy in her own bedroom after she came home from the grocery store on February 22, 1983.

Lockemy was married when she was assaulted. It was a frightening and uncertain time for their family when Lockemy learned she was pregnant as a result of the rape.

Her husband Jim's son, Jeff, born from a previous marriage, lived with them in their home. Jeff was in 8th grade at the time, and when Lockemy told him what had happened and how she became pregnant, he seemed to understand how tenuous the situation was.

Lockemy told Rose, "And I told him that I was pregnant as a result of this and he says, 'You're not going to do anything, are you?' ... So he was very supportive and he was very, very pro-life right off the bat. And it wasn't like he had a whole lot of background in any of it. None of us did, I guess."

In October of 1983, Lockemy gave birth to her daughter, Anne, and has no regrets about choosing life. She now has two grandchildren born from that baby girl — her light in the midst of darkness.

Though Lockemy said her family was not supportive of her and her husband's decision to chose life for the baby, once she was born, everything changed. She told her daughter, "[A]fter you were born, everybody was crazy about you. My sister, she started sending cards. And of course, Jeff was crazy about you, and we have another girl by Jim's first marriage, Sarah, and she could not wait to fly in to see you... and you know, a 12-year-old girl, she likes a baby. So, we had a lot going for us."

Lockemy had suffered a miscarriage several years prior to Anne's birth, and Anne was born six weeks early. Lockemy said, "I was so afraid something was going to go wrong... And because she was six weeks early, she was a bit jaundiced and we couldn't take her home and it was so hard to leave that hospital without her. And my husband, he drove me back every day after working so I could nurse her at night and hold her. And... we got her after about seven days."

Learning the Truth

Until the interview with Rose, Anne Farrens, Lockemy's daughter, hadn't really heard her mother's whole story of that fateful day.

"I knew bullet points about the attack. I didn't know that she thought she was going to die. That really impacted me," he said. "So her bravery kind of went up a notch in my view that she could withstand not only such a brutal attack and then also say no to the continuation of violence through abortion."

Farrens told her mother, "I did not know that the counselors had, you know, counseled you and Dad about [how] he may have a strained relationship with me or... even what it could do to [your] marriage.... And I just I truly haven't heard you say in public what happened to you and what it was like to choose to have me...."

Farrens, however, struggled a great deal with her own identity as she grew up. She was 12 years old when she learned she had been conceived in rape.

"... It's been 20 years of trying to dissect how I felt even in that moment," she told Rose. "I felt confused. I felt like my place within our family kind of disintegrated because... my identity was based on 'this is my mom, this is my dad, I know that my brother's my half-brother, my sister is my half-sister.' So hearing that your father isn't your biological father, I quickly put together then, okay, I'm not related to the older brother I adore and the older sister that I... cherish."

She added, "I had felt such a strong connection with my dad. So then... I think I kind of cut myself off from him because it hurt. It was painful and I felt like everything that I knew was true wasn't true anymore."

She began to question who she was, who her biological father was, whether she was "bad" because of his evil actions, and what her values were, knowing all of this information. She described it as being on a "downward spiral that I could not get off of." For the next several years, she emotionally distanced herself from her parents and made poor decisions she never thought she would make. At the time, her parents struggled to understand why she was acting out.

Farrens said that, all that time, she simply wanted to know that she was "wanted" by her parents, and whether or not they were proud of her. To this, Lockemy said, "I am very proud of you and I've never not been proud of you."

The Bottom Line:

Though Lockemy regrets not having a better plan at the time for telling her daughter the jarring news about her conception, having the opportunity to share their story now has brought great healing to them both. Farrens told Rose:

"Having you tell these stories, it doesn't feel shameful anymore. ... God redeems brokenness and we can use this to help other people and speak the truth. I'm tired of having people tell our story. All the lawmakers are telling our story.... and you know, 'these are unwanted children,' and I'm tired of being told that. It's exhausting. So, it's good to be able to come out and and be proud to be here....

Accepting it and speaking about it now, it's like a source of strength...

If I could choose between being conceived by a rapist or not being born, I'll take my conception story. I'm really grateful to be alive."

Watch the full video discussion here.