Human Matters with Sami Parker: Why we can't do hard things anymore

In episode six of Human Matters with Sami Parker, a video series powered by Live Action, Parker says "avoiding pain is ruining your life" as she looks at why so many people in modern society seem both unwilling and unable to do hard things in life.

Key Takeaways:

• Host Sami Parker notes that more people than ever are embracing the idea that "if it feels good, you should do it."

• This results in people spending hours mindlessly scrolling on the phone, avoiding learning uncomfortable skills, and even cutting off allegedly "toxic" friends and family.

• The answer, she says, is found in Christ's example of redemptive suffering. Christ was willing to die a horrific death for us — and we, too, can endure suffering and turn our eyes to Him.

The Details:

Why Avoiding Pain Is Ruining Your Life

Human Matters host Sami Parker tackles the concept of so few people being able to tolerate discomfort these days, with society sending the message that "if it feels good, you should do it."

"Nowadays, when something is hard or uncomfortable, we aren't encouraged to push through it and endure. We just try to relieve it and get rid of it. Even in the smallest moments of discomfort—moments of boredom perhaps—we pretty desperately need relief from that," Parker says.

She says this is most commonly seen in phone addictions, with the majority of people spending hours mindlessly scrolling online. She also notes that fewer people have skill-related hobbies, because mastering a skill is uncomfortable.

In a worse way, this phenomenon has affected human relationships, with a trend of people cutting off friends or family they deem "toxic." It's also seen in the anti-child movement, with couples unwilling to have children because doing so requires sacrifice.

In countering these ideas, she notes that "growth has always required hardship and suffering."

"Professional athletes didn’t achieve their goals by giving up when training got hard and painful," she says. "Couples celebrating 50 years of marriage didn’t get a divorce when the marriage was full of turmoil and suffering. They endured. No couple that has been faithfully married for decades has gone without suffering."

She points out the paradox that is occurring in those who are embracing this avoidance mindset.

"Notice how we are prioritizing loving ourselves and choosing ourselves more than ever, and yet we are also the most unhappy. The most empty."

The answer? The redemptive suffering found in Christianity. She points out that Christ suffered a horrific death on the cross because of his love for humanity.

The Bottom Line:

She goes on:

Christianity doesn’t say suffering is meaningless.

It says suffering can actually be good, meaningful. Purposeful. Redemptive. 

Suffering can set our eyes back on God. It can ground our thoughts on the things that are good and true. When the object of our hope is God rather than ourselves, suffering and hardship are something you can walk through and make it out of better off, somehow. 

"So do hard things," she concludes. "Give yourself to the service of others. Endure through your suffering and turn your eyes to Christ and give your life to him."