Abby Howard discusses stillbirth: 'I'm grieving a human,' not a 'pregnancy'

In a recent episode of their "Unplanned" podcast, Matt and Abby Howard shared the meaningful name they gave to their stillborn daughter, and Abby explained that she doesn't like the term "pregnancy loss" because she didn't lose a pregnancy; she lost her child.

Key Takeaways:

• Abby and Matt Howard lost their third child, a baby girl, at 17 weeks of pregnancy in September 2025.

• They announced that they named their daughter Emerson Nicole, in honor of Abby's late sister.

• Abby also shared that she doesn't like the term "pregnancy loss" because she is "grieving a human being."

• She said after suffering the loss of Emerson, she knows that "no matter what, pregnancy is a celebration."

The Details:

In the episode, the couple, who also recently announced that Abby is pregnant with their fourth baby, talked about how they remember and honor their daughter, whom they named Emerson Nicole.

Naming their baby

Abby shared that she had a stillborn sister, born about a year before her, who was named Emily Nicole. She named her own stillborn daughter in honor of her sister. In addition, the nurse who cared for them so well when Abby delivered Emerson was named Nicole, making the name feel even more "appropriate" and "meaningful."

Sharing her name publicly helped share her humanity.

Remembering our daughter, the due date & our first marriage conference

'Pregnancy loss'

Abby added that she dislikes the term "pregnancy loss" because she didn't lose a "pregnancy":

"Her humanity is what makes her loss painful.

That's why I hate the term — Okay, I shouldn't hate the term, but sometimes the term 'pregnancy loss' really rubs me the wrong way because... I'm not just grieving a pregnancy; I'm grieving a human.

I'm grieving a baby. I'm grieving a daughter. I'm grieving Emerson."

The couple has been very open about their grief. Emerson's due date was February 28, but she was stillborn in September, around 17 weeks, due to a genetic condition.

"We get up every day. We still do our day because life goes on, as much as it feels like a part of you never does, you have to move on. You have to continue living," said Abby.

When the couple first announced the loss of Emerson, they thanked their followers "for celebrating this precious life with us for the past 17 weeks." She says they now have a "deep understanding of how precious life is."

Abby explained:

"No matter what, pregnancy is a celebration. It is a joy. There's so many hard aspects, and I understand that there are so many realities that women face while pregnant that make it so much more complicated. They're not all fun. They're messy, they're hard, they're deeply challenging, and there can even be sadness and anger all mixed up in there. But no matter what, the privilege of growing a baby and growing your family in that way, it is always something that should be celebrated.

And if there's something that made me realize that, it is experiencing loss. Pregnancy will always be something to be celebrated, something to be talked about. And that's why it was so healing for me also to throw baby showers for my friends even while I was still grieving. It's not because I'm like some super hero. It's because I know now how freaking amazing and what a blessing it is that they're able to carry a child like that."

The Bottom Line:

Every preborn baby is a human being, no matter the circumstances that exist regarding their conception, their health, or their parents' lives.