GUEST OPINION: I had an abortion and I am a murderer. Does that make you feel better?

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author.

There seems to be a sudden onslaught of people compelled to call women who have had abortions murderers. I am not sure what the motive is. No one knows better than these women that their children are dead and they are responsible. Even those who proclaim to be pro-abortion know it, although they may hide it behind erratic behaviors.

Whenever I see such condemnatory statements, I think of the thousands of people I have seen over the past 30 years of doing post-abortion ministry to women, men, and siblings — those who came to us filled with guilt, shame, and grief.

I also wonder how many people have not come forward for healing for fear of being judged. These statements are broad for sure, a blanket of judgment of every post-abortive woman.

Speak the truth in love

A recent post I saw proceeded to tell post-abortive women that we may not like to “admit it, or to see it,” but we are “all murderers.” Still another rejoiced at the death of an 18-year-old from a second trimester abortion because she was murdering her baby.

There seems to be a contingent out there determined to make us proclaim our sin — to make us suffer as if we were not suffering already.

I wonder what they hope to accomplish by that.

I understand the frustration, especially in seeing those who seemingly do not care that over a million unborn babies die in our country each year.

It is hard.

It is hard to hear someone brag about having had 20 abortions or treating abortion as if it were no big deal.

It is hard to hear those laughing or mocking the deaths of the unborn.

It is hard to keep loving, to be the face of Christ to those who would act this way, but that is exactly what Christ did for us.

This banter will never bring about good. One thing it is accomplishing is taking the hope of forgiveness and healing away for many who are living in despair, even leading them to more abortions because they, by these standards, are doomed to hell already.

It also leads to more questions:

• Are the people who coerce women murderers too?

• What about society who has endorsed and allowed abortion and sold it as a right for women, many who grew up with legalized abortion, with women believing the lies?

I wonder if they ever consider the despair they may cause someone that can easily lead to suicide in those who already hate themselves and feel the sin is unforgivable. Are they “murdering” someone spiritually by taking away hope in God's mercy?

The truth is, only God can completely end abortion and while we must always educate and speak the truth of abortion, it needs to be spoken in love — not in watering down what abortion is (like those who call it “pregnancy loss”) or giving false compassion or excusing it for any reason.

Abortion is always wrong, but at the same time we proclaim the truth, we must proclaim the mercy and love of God who came to call sinners to repentance.

Miracles of His mercy

Yes, we who participated in the death of our children can be called murderers, but I do not remember Jesus calling the woman at the well an adulterer, or the woman caught in the act of adultery a prostitute, or making any of the great sinners that He encountered shout out their sins.

Instead, where there was no love, He put love.

He called them to their dignity as children of God and transformed them by His love.

He gave them the gift of His mercy then told them to "sin no more.”

In turn, they then became miracles of His mercy, proclaiming what He had done for them.

Over the past two years, we at Entering Canaan, a post-abortion ministry, have begun a group called Penitents of Love. Its participants have all experienced the forgiveness, love, and mercy of God. As a result of this, they are filled with gratitude because they know well the magnitude of their sin and His forgiveness more than anyone, and they have committed themselves to prayer and penance.

Every Thursday they meet online to offer the rosary and other prayers for several intentions, including an end to the abortion and the conversion of all involved and for their own sin of abortion. Although they join in prayers on Thursdays, this is a daily offering.

Which is likely to do more to convert people, and to end abortion: shouting that they are murderers, or encouraging them to join other women who confessed their sin and now choose to live their lives in devotion to God?

God is patient with us. Yes, I am a murderer, but more importantly, He is God who died on the cross for the forgiveness of sin — even the sin of abortion.

Abortion, the ultimate failure of love, was conquered by the ultimate sacrifice of love on the cross.

In the end, coming to know that love and sacrifice is what will end abortion.