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He begged and bargained with his girlfriend, but couldn’t stop her late-term abortion
When John Kelnhofer walked away from an abusive relationship with a young woman at the age of 22, he believed he was moving on to a brighter future. He had no idea a reunion two years later would set him on a dark journey of anguish and grief as he struggled to grasp why his pregnant girlfriend ended the life of their child in a late-term abortion.
Kelnhofer told Live Action News, “I had started a new life where I was studying for a career in cyber security and had stopped abusing drugs. I was living with friends and really working toward stability. My ex-girlfriend was determined to renew our romance and kept ‘love bombing’ me to weaken my resolve.”
The woman expected Kelnhofer’s devotion even though he believed she was incapable of returning his love.
“I succumbed to her charms and once again became sexually involved with her,” Kelnhofer said. “A month after our last encounter, she told me she was pregnant and was leaning toward having an abortion, but I begged her to reconsider and even proposed marriage.”
He then learned she had a history of abortion.
Surprisingly, the woman abruptly told Kelnhofer she had a change of heart and intended to carry their child to term. The two moved in together, sharing an apartment with his friends. Yet, he wasn’t invited to accompany her to prenatal doctor appointments – he just received a text from her showing an ultrasound.
“I was thinking all along that I was going to be a father,” Kelnhofer said. “I was very excited and was dreaming about a future with a child I had already come to love. She and I had even discussed baby names.”
But his dreams were shattered when his girlfriend suddenly changed her mind again and decided she didn’t want to be a mother to their child. Kelnhofer felt as if a rug had been yanked out from underneath him.
“Again, I begged her to reconsider, even offering to take sole custody of our child,” Kelnhofer said. “I proposed marriage and told her she could come and go as she pleased. I would do anything to get her to reconsider, but in the end, I failed at persuading her.”
He offered to drive her to Planned Parenthood in hopes of reasoning with her despite his vehement opposition to the abortion. However, on the day of her appointment she left without a word, choosing instead to have a friend drive her to the clinic at 24 weeks — robbing him of the chance to save his child’s life.
“I don’t think she ever intended on continuing the pregnancy,” he said. “She just used it as leverage to keep me under control and to manipulate me.”
Grieving the loss of his child, Kelnhofer’s life spiraled out-of-control. Six months after the abortion, he nearly overdosed on drugs though he had been in recovery — and was evicted from his townhouse.
“I learned she was cheating on me during this time as well,” Kelnhofer said. “Everything I had painstakingly worked for was gone because I had allowed myself to get sucked into a dysfunctional relationship from which I had once left.”
As his world crumbled around him, Kelnhofer tried to end the relationship, only to be persuaded by her pleas and declarations of love.
“She would say all the right things to loop me back in and it worked,” Kelnhofer said. “This cycle went on almost daily.”
A year after the abortion, Kelnhofer had enough. He had no contact with her for three years — but given their relationship dynamic, she reached out to him again via email, yearning to reconnect. This time, he remained steadfast in his resolve not to reunite with her.
“I did speak with her but realized she never saw herself as part of the problems we were having,” Kelnhofer said. “And I was finally picking up the pieces of my life.”
Today, Kelnhofer is in a good place — but the loss of his child haunts him, especially at night.
READ: Men describe suffering from post-abortion trauma: ‘I was totally destroyed’
“I am now a homeowner and am proud of how far I’ve come,” Kelnhofer said. “But I often lie awake thinking about my child and all the years I missed.”
He notes that men who want to father their children are not empowered to stop a woman from choosing abortion; it is her decision alone. As such, many suffer silently, not daring to speak out for fear of backlash.
Kelnhofer said, “Since the abortion, every area of my life has been affected, specifically in establishing loving relationships. I still have work to do before I could ever get involved in another romantic relationship.”
He has also chosen to remain celibate, recognizing that the inclination for young people to engage in casual relationships and unprotected sex is often linked to the demand for abortion access. He has mentored other young men to consider abstinence.
“I don’t want to risk another unplanned pregnancy, nor do I want to be a part of a culture that is degenerate,” Kelnhofer said. “More men need to step up and be leaders instead of followers. They need take part in shaping a more principled society.”
Three months ago, Kelnhofer collaborated with other pro-life activists to establish the Post-Abortive Support Network on Discord, a global online community platform to establish a space where men and women impacted by abortion can share stories, offer mutual support and get information and resources.
Kelnhofer said, “As a post-abortive man, I didn’t know where to get help. I don’t want anyone to suffer in isolation like I have for far too many years. Our Discord community gives those hurt by abortion a way to connect with others and to find healing.”
He has shared his story of betrayal and loss with male members of his extended family who, moved by his testimony, have become “radicalized” pro-life supporters.
Fighting to end abortion, says Kelnhofer, isn’t a religious or secular issue. He believes everyone, men and women, regardless of their background, must join forces to expose the inhumanity of killing a child in the womb.
Follow Live Action News on Facebook and Instagram for more pro-life news.
Live Action News is pro-life news and commentary from a pro-life perspective.
Our work is possible because of our donors. Please consider giving to further our work of changing hearts and minds on issues of life and human dignity.
Contact editor@liveaction.org for questions, corrections, or if you are seeking permission to reprint any Live Action News content.
Guest Articles: To submit a guest article to Live Action News, email editor@liveaction.org with an attached Word document of 800-1000 words. Please also attach any photos relevant to your submission if applicable. If your submission is accepted for publication, you will be notified within three weeks. Guest articles are not compensated (see our Open License Agreement). Thank you for your interest in Live Action News!
He begged and bargained with his girlfriend, but couldn’t stop her late-term abortion
When John Kelnhofer walked away from an abusive relationship with a young woman at the age of 22, he believed he was moving on to a brighter future. He had no idea a reunion two years later would set him on a dark journey of anguish and grief as he struggled to grasp why his pregnant girlfriend ended the life of their child in a late-term abortion.
Kelnhofer told Live Action News, “I had started a new life where I was studying for a career in cyber security and had stopped abusing drugs. I was living with friends and really working toward stability. My ex-girlfriend was determined to renew our romance and kept ‘love bombing’ me to weaken my resolve.”
The woman expected Kelnhofer’s devotion even though he believed she was incapable of returning his love.
“I succumbed to her charms and once again became sexually involved with her,” Kelnhofer said. “A month after our last encounter, she told me she was pregnant and was leaning toward having an abortion, but I begged her to reconsider and even proposed marriage.”
He then learned she had a history of abortion.
Surprisingly, the woman abruptly told Kelnhofer she had a change of heart and intended to carry their child to term. The two moved in together, sharing an apartment with his friends. Yet, he wasn’t invited to accompany her to prenatal doctor appointments – he just received a text from her showing an ultrasound.
“I was thinking all along that I was going to be a father,” Kelnhofer said. “I was very excited and was dreaming about a future with a child I had already come to love. She and I had even discussed baby names.”
But his dreams were shattered when his girlfriend suddenly changed her mind again and decided she didn’t want to be a mother to their child. Kelnhofer felt as if a rug had been yanked out from underneath him.
“Again, I begged her to reconsider, even offering to take sole custody of our child,” Kelnhofer said. “I proposed marriage and told her she could come and go as she pleased. I would do anything to get her to reconsider, but in the end, I failed at persuading her.”
He offered to drive her to Planned Parenthood in hopes of reasoning with her despite his vehement opposition to the abortion. However, on the day of her appointment she left without a word, choosing instead to have a friend drive her to the clinic at 24 weeks — robbing him of the chance to save his child’s life.
“I don’t think she ever intended on continuing the pregnancy,” he said. “She just used it as leverage to keep me under control and to manipulate me.”
Grieving the loss of his child, Kelnhofer’s life spiraled out-of-control. Six months after the abortion, he nearly overdosed on drugs though he had been in recovery — and was evicted from his townhouse.
“I learned she was cheating on me during this time as well,” Kelnhofer said. “Everything I had painstakingly worked for was gone because I had allowed myself to get sucked into a dysfunctional relationship from which I had once left.”
As his world crumbled around him, Kelnhofer tried to end the relationship, only to be persuaded by her pleas and declarations of love.
“She would say all the right things to loop me back in and it worked,” Kelnhofer said. “This cycle went on almost daily.”
A year after the abortion, Kelnhofer had enough. He had no contact with her for three years — but given their relationship dynamic, she reached out to him again via email, yearning to reconnect. This time, he remained steadfast in his resolve not to reunite with her.
“I did speak with her but realized she never saw herself as part of the problems we were having,” Kelnhofer said. “And I was finally picking up the pieces of my life.”
Today, Kelnhofer is in a good place — but the loss of his child haunts him, especially at night.
READ: Men describe suffering from post-abortion trauma: ‘I was totally destroyed’
“I am now a homeowner and am proud of how far I’ve come,” Kelnhofer said. “But I often lie awake thinking about my child and all the years I missed.”
He notes that men who want to father their children are not empowered to stop a woman from choosing abortion; it is her decision alone. As such, many suffer silently, not daring to speak out for fear of backlash.
Kelnhofer said, “Since the abortion, every area of my life has been affected, specifically in establishing loving relationships. I still have work to do before I could ever get involved in another romantic relationship.”
He has also chosen to remain celibate, recognizing that the inclination for young people to engage in casual relationships and unprotected sex is often linked to the demand for abortion access. He has mentored other young men to consider abstinence.
“I don’t want to risk another unplanned pregnancy, nor do I want to be a part of a culture that is degenerate,” Kelnhofer said. “More men need to step up and be leaders instead of followers. They need take part in shaping a more principled society.”
Three months ago, Kelnhofer collaborated with other pro-life activists to establish the Post-Abortive Support Network on Discord, a global online community platform to establish a space where men and women impacted by abortion can share stories, offer mutual support and get information and resources.
Kelnhofer said, “As a post-abortive man, I didn’t know where to get help. I don’t want anyone to suffer in isolation like I have for far too many years. Our Discord community gives those hurt by abortion a way to connect with others and to find healing.”
He has shared his story of betrayal and loss with male members of his extended family who, moved by his testimony, have become “radicalized” pro-life supporters.
Fighting to end abortion, says Kelnhofer, isn’t a religious or secular issue. He believes everyone, men and women, regardless of their background, must join forces to expose the inhumanity of killing a child in the womb.
Follow Live Action News on Facebook and Instagram for more pro-life news.
Live Action News is pro-life news and commentary from a pro-life perspective.
Our work is possible because of our donors. Please consider giving to further our work of changing hearts and minds on issues of life and human dignity.
Contact editor@liveaction.org for questions, corrections, or if you are seeking permission to reprint any Live Action News content.
Guest Articles: To submit a guest article to Live Action News, email editor@liveaction.org with an attached Word document of 800-1000 words. Please also attach any photos relevant to your submission if applicable. If your submission is accepted for publication, you will be notified within three weeks. Guest articles are not compensated (see our Open License Agreement). Thank you for your interest in Live Action News!
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