Guest Column

Abortion did not solve my ‘problem.’ It sent me into a deep depression.

birth control, abortion, abortionists, rape, contraception, abortion

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author and are not necessarily reflective of Live Action or Live Action News.

The National Memorial for the Unborn is a breathtaking sight — the memorial wall is lined with row upon row of individualized plaques representing sacred lives lost to abortion. The scene grips the heart… all the tokens of love placed there… the cross standing tall in the foreground, casting a beautiful blanket of comfort over grieving hearts, and boldly declaring the forgiveness and healing found in Christ Jesus.

While passing through Chattanooga from a recent vacation, my husband and I made a point to stop at the National Memorial, to revisit the site where my child’s plaque is displayed. I had purchased the plaque for my child in the late ’90s, shortly after becoming the Coordinator of an Abortion Recovery Ministry (serving at the very same Pro-Life Pregnancy Center where I had received support nine years prior, when attending the Abortion Recovery Bible study support group).  The plaque continues to serve as a significant marker of healing and a powerful touchpoint of remembrance and honor to the child I lost.

National Memorial for the Unborn (Photo: Sue Justice)

Visiting the memorial had a piercing effect — like a two-edged sword. To the same magnitude, I was awed by the sense of compassionate mercy and love this memorial releases to those suffering the loss of their child to abortion;  the memorial also had an instigating effect of cutting through the lethargy and lighting a holy fire to speak out with renewed vigor against the atrocity of the killing of innocent lives.

My heart cries out for the babies that have no voice.  My heart cries out for the mothers and fathers who suffer in silence. I cry out like a voice in the wilderness: “Stop the insanity!”

The National Memorial for the Unborn caused my heart to shudder again at the injustice of abortion…the sin of abortion…the mind-blowing magnitude of the millions of lives lost!  Abortion is an assault against the very heart of God, against the One who is the author of LIFE.

Plaque at National Memorial (photo: Sue Justice)

In 1980, just seven years after Roe V. Wade became the law of the land, I became one of abortion’s statistics. I was a vulnerable 18-year-old college freshman when I found myself faced with an unplanned pregnancy. After my high school sweetheart and I found ourselves in crisis, we visited a Women’s Center just blocks from our college campus. It was there the deception began. “It is just a glob of pregnancy tissue… it will be a  short outpatient procedure and you can be sent on your way… problem solved.”

My “problem” was NOT solved. Instead, figuratively speaking, the abortion ushered me down a staircase, finding myself spiraling into deep depression. The abortion became my prison cell of post-abortion grief, substance abuse, shame, and heartbreak. Abortion did not solve my “problem”… but only served to magnify it.

At the abortion clinic (a.k.a. campus “women’s center”) I was not empowered as a woman but diminished.  I was told, “It will be easier for you to get an abortion and get on with your life.”

Tragically, no one at that women’s center told me the truth of the development of my baby, my option for adoption, or the devastating fallout from post-abortion grief and regret.

I only wish I could have heard the empowering messages of the Pro-life Community — “Your baby, though at just six weeks gestation, is a distinct individual with a heartbeat,” “If you choose to carry your baby, you CAN do this,”  “You have other life-giving options available to you — your baby can be welcomed into the arms of a loving adoptive couple,” and “You can be spared the searing emotional pain of knowing you allowed the killing of the very child your womb was designed to protect.”

READ: Woman who took abortion pill deals with depression and regret: ‘I live in my own personal Hell’

Those truths were not told to me on that day when I came for counsel… the day I came in, so very vulnerable, in crisis, afraid, unable to think clearly…desperate for help.

The abortion tore through my life like a hurricane, leaving destruction in its wake. The post-abortion fallout with my boyfriend left only devastation. Our previous deeply nurturing relationship shattered into a mass of scattered, broken, irreparable pieces.

I changed from a young woman entering nursing school, hard-working, eager to help people, having dated the same high school sweetheart for two years, sharing our dream of marriage after college… to a broken, promiscuous, alcohol indulging, partying girl, looking for any way to numb the emotional pain from the gnawing reality of the loss of my child and what I had done.

I was an unbeliever at the time of my abortion. Seven years after my abortion, through a series of unforeseen events, the Lord caused my path to intersect with a Christian who shared the truth of the gospel with me. This eventually led to my salvation decision. Later, through a post-abortion Bible study support group, offered by a Pro-Life pregnancy care center,  I was enabled to confront the truth and painful repercussions of my abortion. Through the loving counsel and support of others who had moved through their own grief, I found heart healing through my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I thank my Lord for providing the many opportunities and varied arenas for me to speak in honor of my child’s life, and shine the spotlight on the horror of abortion. Thank You, Lord, for answering my plea: Please Lord, do NOT let my child’s life be lost in vain!

My prayer now: God of the impossible — grant us, Your very children, to remain mobilized as Your ever-advancing army of powerful truth-tellers and help givers. Lord, with YOU as our Commander in Chief, we will boldly advance, marching to the cadence of Your loving heartbeat, as we honor all lives. I believe we WILL see an end to abortion. Roe V. Wade WILL be overturned. The shedding of innocent blood WILL be stopped. People will be empowered by LIFE, HOPE, AND LOVE.

Lord, send Your zeal. Send Your fire. Send Your revelation of truth. Open avenues to pierce the darkness, strip the deception, uproot the lies. Plant Your TRUTH in the heart of man, and in the heart of this nation.  Nothing is impossible for you. Show us Your ways. Lead us in Your paths of truth.

Now is the time. Now is the day. Help us to stand in this hour and coming days and be found faithful. Let us not remain silent!

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