An unwanted abortion at age 18 sent Remy into a deep depression until she found healing

At 18 years old in her senior year of high school, Remy McElveen was looking forward to graduating, leaving town, and starting the next chapter of her young adulthood — until she found out she was pregnant. 

At the time, Remy was attending a local church with friends and was hesitant about having an induced abortion (the intentional killing of a preborn child). She went back and forth with the idea of creating an adoption plan, but after the father of the preborn child ceased communications with her, she went ahead with an abortion with the encouragement of those around her.

Key Takeaways:

• Remy was a senior in high school when she faced pressure to have an abortion she didn't really want.

• After the abortion was over, she felt immediate regret and spent years battling depression.

• She ultimately found healing through an abortion ministry and has since launched her own ministry to help other women overcome their abortion trauma.

The Details:

It was 2012, and in Texas, abortion before 24 weeks was legal with the recent implementation of an ultrasound requirement that had taken effect the previous year. While at the abortion facility, Remy turned away from the sonogram screen, but she could hear her baby’s heartbeat.

“I didn’t want to see, I had scales over my eyes,” she told Live Action News. 

During spring break, at nine or 10 weeks pregnant, Remy underwent a suction aspiration abortion, typically used for abortions between five and 13 weeks of pregnancy. 

A suction aspiration abortion is known as a D&C or dilation and curettage abortion. During a D&C, the preborn baby is suctioned apart, and the lining of the uterus is scraped. The procedure is explained in the video below by former abortionist, Dr. Beverly McMillan.

1st Trimester Abortion | Suction Dilation and Curettage (D&C) | What is Abortion?

Remy distinctly recalls the coldness and indifference of the abortion facility staff. She was given nitrous oxide (otherwise known as laughing gas), which made her nauseous and sick. But when she complained, Remy said staff held the gas mask down on her face, rudely retorting, “'You’ll be fine;…but I wasn’t,” Remy said.

She also recalls hearing the suction machine start up and thinking she wanted to halt the abortion, but didn't think her wishes would be honored by the staff.  

After the abortion was over, Remy was instructed to put on a thick pad in the restroom, where she ended up passing out. The same indifferent staff member who held the mask on her face got her from the restroom only to leave her on a hard chair, alone, in what Remy describes as a “waiting room type of area.” As she sat there, Remy said she felt “instant regret.” 

From that moment on, the trauma and emotional pain from the abortion led to a downward spiral and “a path of destruction.” 

“I hated myself immediately. I stopped going to church. I stopped talking with all my church friends. I barely talked to my family. Because I didn’t feel loved, I didn’t feel that I was worthy of love,” Remy said in a video testimony for her church.    

Post-abortion trauma is real, and researchers do women no favors by denying it

Although Remy went on to finish high school, she battled depression and a series of self-defeating choices. 

Two years later, Remy was living in Pennsylvania with a roommate who often invited her to church. Eventually, Remy attended a service by herself, and that day, the pastor discussed abortion.  

“I lost it… I couldn’t even stay in the sanctuary, I had to leave…I sat outside for a really long time. I just remember talking to God and saying…there’s no way you want me…I did this horrible, horrible thing…and I’ve done all these horrible things since…God, I had an abortion, and I killed a baby.” But Remy said she heard a small voice in her head saying, "Yet, I (God) stayed.” 

It was that night that Remy truly became a Christian. After moving back to Texas a few years later, she became involved at the local First Baptist Church (FBC) Forney. She got married and later attended a 13-week post-abortion care ministry where she was able to find healing. At the conclusion of the program, like other attendees, she believes the sex of her aborted child was revealed to her through revelation, and she named her son. “I know my son is with Jesus,” Remy said. She believes she will be reunited with him in Heaven.    

What's Happening Now:

Remy now has a message for other women who face regret, hurt, and emotional pain after their abortions, as so many have: 

Now, on the other side of this, after finishing the ministry and how healing it was to me, I want other women to know they don’t have to sit in their grief and shame. You're told over and over again that having an abortion is not a big deal, yet you feel so bad afterwards, it's because we were made to create life, not destroy it.

At her church, Remy recently launched Abundant Life, an after abortion care ministry like the one she attended. "There is healing and redemption in the Lord," she explained, "and my hope is, even if it's 30 years after their abortion, to walk with these women through the healing process."