Women share their post-abortion pain and regret

The news and Facebook are lighting up with responses and posts about a young woman named Emily who decided to film her “positive” abortion. She wanted to show that not everyone has a hard time ending the life of their unborn child and she was quite pleased with the experience.

Here’s the thing. Not many people sit through an abortion knowing that it is going to ruin them. Not many woman sit there and say to themselves that this is the worst thing they could ever do and they are going to feel guilt and deep regret and sadness for the remainder of their time on earth. No. Most women go through the abortion only because they have become convinced that it is the right thing and that if they didn’t have the abortion their lives would be ruined. It isn’t until it’s too late that the weight of this act of trying to save your own life by ending the life of your child will be bearing down on their hearts.

Love Matters, a website created to help women and men make a better choice than abortion, shares the stories of the people who went into abortion thinking it was their only way out of a scary situation, only to realize it was the beginning of the worst time of their lives.

The Lies

It’s no secret that every reason to have an abortion is a lie. You’re too young. Lie. You won’t have a career. Lie. You’re not ready. No one ever is. There is no reason to justify ending the life of your unborn child, yet abortion advocates like Emily, and sometimes even the people closest to us, will often repeat these lies. It isn’t until later that post-abortive men and women realize that they had other options.

“I was deceived because I was not told the truth about what an abortion means to the life of an unborn baby. I was not told that at 10 weeks (which is when I had my abortion) my child was already fully formed. I was made to believe that I was doing something that was as natural as going to the dentist for a teeth cleaning.” – Stephanie Williams

“I was told I had ‘caught it’ at a great time because it was just a tiny mass of tissue (4-6 weeks). Boy, was I deceiving myself! What ignorance I was in.” – Lisa and Will Windham

The Procedure

Women are told that an abortion is a simple, normal act. They are told to relax. They are told to remain still. They are told everything to keep them from changing their minds.

“The suction machine was turned on, causing tremendous pain. I was frightened, it hurt so much. I wanted to scream. I wanted it to stop. I suddenly knew there was a baby inside. They were killing my baby!” – Michaelene Jenkins

“I was told that I would be out for eight minutes and I would feel only a little discomfort afterwards. They lied, it ruined 10 years of my life.” – Mae Abbott

“Two weeks after the abortion, I went into labor. I staggered into the bathroom. And there, with my husband beside me, I delivered a part of my baby the doctor had missed. It was the head of my baby. . .” “I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I hear a baby crying. And I still have nightmares in which I am forced to watch my baby being ripped apart in front of me. I simply miss my baby. I constantly wake up wanting to nurse my child, wanting to hold my child. And that’s something the doctor never told me I would experience.”  – Lori Nerad

The Regret

Regret for an abortion can happen immediately, as the abortion is actually happening. It can happen the next day, or it can happen years down the road. Many women who have had an abortion and thought they were fine, have found themselves in a great state of depression years later because of that choice.

“I was an emotional wreck. The following day I was empty, sad, numb. I knew that day I had made a huge mistake. I wish with all my heart I would have done things differently.” – Carrie Camilleri

“I was 18 when I got pregnant. At three months pregnant, I had an abortion. About seven years later… my heart broke. I was so overcome with grief. How could I have taken the life of my unborn child?” – Tewannah Aman

The Plea to Other Women

When someone is deciding if they should have an abortion, they should speak to women who have been there. They are the people who know what it was like. Who know how it feels. Women who have had abortions over the last 40 years are now coming forward to beg other women not to make the same mistake that they did.

“Please understand that by aborting your unborn child, that does not make the baby go away. Your baby will be in your heart until you die. After abortion – the guilt, shame and loneliness is horrible. Once you abort, you cannot go back and change it.” – Lisa Burroughs

“Having an abortion was the biggest, most tragic mistake of my life. If there is anything I can ever say or do that would change a woman’s or man’s abortion-bound course, I will do it.”  – Carna Spinella

“If you abort your child, this child will haunt you the rest of your life because no other child can replace him. Your problems will multiply, not disappear. Talk to others who have had abortions, who have chosen not to abort, who have found other ways to give life instead of death to their children. Abortion is wrong. Even if you don’t believe that for sure, wouldn’t it be smarter to err on the side of life? Abortion is irreversible – once it’s done, you have no more options.” – Margaret Carson

The Lifelong Pain

The pain of abortion can stay with women for the rest of their lives. It effects their relationships with their children both present and future, and any other relationships they might have. Abortion takes them into a downward spiral where hope and a happy life seem like impossible dreams.

“After the first abortion, I did get more depressed. I developed a very angry character; I became very violent. After the second abortion, I really didn’t notice a change. By the third, I had really low self-esteem, and after the fourth I became extremely promiscuous and self-destructive. Throughout the years, with each abortion, I became more and more depressed and I gained more and more weight.” – Cecilia Gomez

“Abortion destroys self-worth and dignity. I bought into the idea that abortion was simply a matter of choice. I used abortion as birth control until after my fourth abortion. I felt inside that this action has to be wrong. I wish I had given more thought to the abortions I had. If just one person had said, ‘Star, what you’re doing is wrong,” it might have changed the destiny of my life.” – Star Parker

Emily believes that these women are wrong to feel guilt and remorse and she wants them to cut it out. That’s not possible. When you’re haunted by the fact that you ended your child’s life it would be strange to not feel guilt. There is a difference between Emily and these women, and that difference is simple. These women realized what they had done and sought healing. Emily still hasn’t.