Surrogate mom heartbroken to learn baby she 'loved' was sold to strangers

A surrogate mother in the U.S. who thought she was helping an infertile couple have children was horrified to find out her baby had been sold as part of an international baby trafficking scam.

Key Takeaways:

• Carole-Anne Kelly (a pseudonym) was sent the profile of an infertile couple by her surrogacy agency.

• Kelly agreed to work with them and carry their baby, and successfully gave birth.

• She later found out that her baby was not biologically related to the couple she was hired to be a surrogate for.

• The baby was sold for $100,000 to a couple in the United Kingdom.

The Details:

In an interview with the Telegraph, Kelly said she became a surrogate because she had been able to have three easy pregnancies, and knew from family and friends how difficult infertility was.

“They seemed like a lovely couple – Todd and Lisa [pseudonym] – who had been struggling to have another baby,” Kelly said. “I immediately felt for them. I know how much happiness each baby brings so I understood why they would want more.

Kelly, located in the U.S., gave birth in 2019 and later made a horrifying discovery: Todd and Lisa were not the parents of the baby she had carried. In fact, they had three children already and Lisa had been pregnant with a fourth.

The baby that Kelly carried had been sold to a couple in the United Kingdom for $100,000. That couple, who were given the pseudonyms Mark and Chrissy, already had multiple children, too. Mark, it turned out, was the biological father of the baby Kelly carried... not Todd.

"It was a lie from start to finish,” Kelly said. “I can’t trust anything anymore. The surrogacy industry preys on vulnerable women, it grooms them and uses their bodies for money, yet you’re not allowed to talk about it. I know I’m not the only woman to have something like this happen and I want to speak out to show others that they’re not alone.”

She now says she believes the surrogacy agency "love-bombed" her and groomed her so she wouldn't say no, assuring her that the baby would go to a couple she approved of, all while also constantly sending her money, including bonuses if she referred someone else to be a surrogate.

“They told me I’d be fulfilling dreams and helping to complete families," Kelly said. "I said I didn’t want to help a single dad or anyone with a history of abuse or anyone who could carry their own children. They reassured me that wouldn’t happen, but it was all a lie. I feel as if they were grooming me from the start.”

A custody battle is what alerted Kelly to the fraud. She said:

"I discovered that in fact, a man in the UK was M’s biological father. An associate of Todd’s called Mark had donated the sperm and it was his child. M was now in the UK with a family I didn’t know existed. I suddenly felt panicked and really uncomfortable.

All this time I thought M was going to live only a few hours away from me but he’d been taken to England. He’d been put into foster care while there was this huge investigation into what was going on. It seemed that the authorities were not happy with this situation either.”

Red Flags:

Looking back, Kelly noticed red flags. Lisa never arrived to any of the appointments as expected, which Kelly said she now knows is because Lisa was already pregnant. She also found out they had contracted another surrogate to carry another baby at the same time.

When that surrogate miscarried, Todd asked Kelly if she would carry another baby for them, before she had even given birth to the first baby. The counseling she received largely focused on ensuring she knew the baby didn't belong to her:

“Everyone was telling me: ‘That baby is not yours, don’t love him. Every time I saw him on the scans, how do you stop loving a little heart that’s beating next to yours?

I did a great job of keeping my feelings a secret for a long time. You’re not allowed to say any of this stuff in surrogacy.”

When she did eventually give birth, hospital staff became concerned when Todd insisted on putting another person's name on the birth certificate rather than his. Still in recovery, Kelly didn't understand what had happened, and focused instead on saying goodbye:

"I remember M being handed to me so I could say my goodbyes. All my family was there, because they wanted to see the little baby we’d all fallen in love with over the previous nine months. I held him close to my face and whispered that I loved him, making sure that no one could hear me, because you’re not allowed to say these things in surrogacy.

I said that I was sorry and that I hoped to be a part of his life and then he was gone. Todd had brought me flowers, said thank you and took him away. Going home without a baby, I was lost.”

Zoom Out:

Lexi Ellingsworth, founder of the UK-based Stop Surrogacy Now, said this is far from a solitary case:

“We hear from women who – even if they have a baby for a family member or friend on the understanding that she will be involved in the child’s life, are then cut out and never see the child again. Others are fooled into giving up their parental rights.

Huge sums of money change hands, even in the UK where we are told this is simply ‘expenses’. Women are financially incentivised by agencies who don’t tell them that surrogacy pregnancy carries increased risks, including severe pregnancy complications such as sepsis, pre-eclampsia and postpartum haemorrhage. Surrogacy dehumanises them and reduces them to a ‘useful carrier’.” 

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The Bottom Line:

Surrogacy is inherently exploitative, reducing women and children both to products to be bought and sold. Women's bodies are purchased, with pregnancy turned into a mere contract between buyers and sellers. The women and children are then expected to simply move on without trauma, despite the fact that they shared a physical connection for nine months.