Surprising things to know about rape survivors... and their children
Guest Column

Surprising things to know about rape survivors… and their children

rape conceived

I was conceived when eight men raped my mother. She placed me for adoption, and when I found her in 2005 she told me that no one really believed her and all wanted her to abort. Her parents, her doctor… pretty much all of society. It was 1956! She refused. Then on Feb 14, 1957, after 36 long hours of labor I was pulled from her womb with forceps that left me black and blue. I was soon placed for adoption.

She prayed for 48 years before her prayers were answered and I returned to her.

Watching her cry, telling me her own mother never believed her when she said she was raped, I knew I had to help other moms going through that kind of pain. With every presentation I gave around the world, mothers came to me with the same story of not being believed. I started the non profit CHOICES4LIFE in 2011. Since that time I’ve helped hundreds and spoken to so many more… both children and mothers who have never shared their stories. The only reason they shared with me is because they knew there would never be any unbelief or condemnation.

I’m currently working with 133 females, both pregnant and those raising children born after rape. Over 30 are in the hospital right now, all pregnant with the exception of three mothers who gave birth. Two gave birth to twins! It’s crazy how society thinks this is rare. It’s just that no one wants to be exposed, 1) because of threats to their lives and 2) because of ridicule for loving rape-conceived children.

Mothers of rape-conceived children have long seen past the conception to stand in awe of their children. But rape-conceived persons have been contributing to society in so many amazing ways. I personally know rape-conceived individuals who are doctors, a chemist, five ministers, artists, a professor, a mayor, a Purple Heart recipient, humanitarians, and a 13-year-old genius, to name a few. 

But I am yet to find anyone who turned out “like the rapist.” I’ve never had anyone tell me they knew someone who turned out like the rapist.

Humans are human and we all have choices. Some people make good choices and others not so good. A person’s choices can’t be predicted for the next day, much less from the womb. But looking at the hundreds of people I know who were conceived from rape, I see an extremely high level of gifting. Some might say that society expects more from those conceived in rape, so they accomplish more. But many of them found out about their conception later in life, after their accomplishments.

One amazing man of accomplishment who was conceived in rape was Frederick Douglass. He was so brilliant, even foreign leaders sought his counsel. Yet prejudice still exists against the rape-conceived. Beginning in 1966, a law was passed on Mother’s Day — the first since the banning of abortion back in the 1800s — using those conceived in rape to pass a law targeting biracial babies. The parents could simply take a girl to the doctor, say she was raped, and have that baby destroyed.

CHOICES4LIFE is an organization that is dedicated to meeting the very specific needs of mothers and children conceived in rape. Their main need is to be believed and know they are not alone. While the world may think it is rare to become pregnant after rape, it isn’t. Our organization has helped hundreds, and the numbers of pregnant rape survivors needing our assistance is increasing each year. Our youngest rape survivor was nine years old and our oldest was 42. In all our 8 1/2 years in operation, only three females have lost their babies. One was due to hypothermia before we could rescue her.

Another lost her baby because she was drugged badly while trafficked. Her baby gave her reason not to commit suicide. She still remained purposeful even though her baby did not survive past 24 weeks in the womb. Her baby had given her strength to go on. She named her baby, and the hospital provided a proper burial. This baby girl was loved and cherished. 

The third young mom lost her baby by no accident. Sadly, she was forced to abort by Child Protective Services in Arkansas.  

All mothers we have helped, regardless of age, have no regrets for saving their baby. They all have a sense of healing because of their children. 

A therapist recently told me she noticed a pattern with rape survivors. Those who became pregnant after rape were better able to overcome and move on with their lives than those who did not become pregnant. Even those who changed their minds about abortion and chose life had no regrets. In all those hundreds, only one woman placed her baby for adoption. She was an older single mom, who tried to raise her twin babies, but she felt a loving couple would be better at taking care of them.  Her love for the twins has not diminished since the adoption.

Recently two rescued moms both gave birth to twins. Their mothers know their babies deserve to be safe too. We are thrilled that all of them are thriving.

CHOICES4LIFE takes care of all the needs of those who are rescued — from simple affirmation to housing, education, medical needs, clothing, food, and any other need of the mom or the baby. The girls are very grateful for the camaraderie they have with other mothers. The needs increase as the number of moms in need increase. 

Mothers tell me over and over that their greatest need is to be believed. So many mothers have been treated as if they lied about rape simply because they love their children. One woman said she’d rather be called a whore than to not be believed, and refused to tell other people she was raped. I’ve met so many who have kept their secret for years, even from family. More and more mothers and children are coming forward to share their stories in the hopes that society will accept them as human. 

In this age of tolerance, when will choosing life for a child conceived in rape be embraced as a mother’s choice?

New song by Juda Myers, “We Are Human”:

 

Juda Myers founded CHOICES4LIFE in 2011. You can read more about her personal story here. Find Choices4Life on Facebook and Twitter

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