When asked why he was doing this, Lael simply replied, “Money.”

“A good month, I’d say $900,” he explained. “If I go less, than I’d say typically $600. If you want to kind of break it in half: $700-$750. That’s what I sell it for, yeah, mm hmmm. … Sometimes they have bonuses where I’ve made thousands in a month before, like I made $3,000 in a month.”

His example — and those of other men who have fathered hundreds of children — contradicts the narrative that such a thing as sperm “donation” even exists. It demolishes the idea that the billion dollar fertility industry was built out of compassion for those living with infertility rather than for the huge financial windfall that comes with creating babies for sale. Like Lael said, there were months during which he was given bonuses — meaning he presumably sold more sperm than usual in those months.

Lael also said that the clinic where he sells his sperm has not prevented him from selling more than 200 times, despite rules that cap the inaccurately named “donations.” Such rules exist in part so that the children aren’t growing up and becoming intimately involved with a half sibling.

Beyond those fears, sperm “donation” is unethical because this man is selling his sperm for profit so that the fertility industry can create children with the full intention of separating those children from their biological parent or parents. Every child has a right to know their biological parents and their genetic history. The fertility industry pays for the sperm (or eggs) and then charges the intended parents tens of thousands of dollars between the price for “donated” sperm and the IVF process. It’s an industry — not a charity.

The effects of sperm “donation” on children

Some who commented on the Twitter post claimed that selling sperm is completely ethical because these children are “wanted.”

“The children are with the parents who wanted them & they can meet the sperm donor & their many siblings later, if they choose to. Who says they are traumatized by it? Who says they aren’t wanted & loved?” said Rory.

But contrary to Rory’s wishful thinking, it’s the now-adult children themselves — created using artificial reproductive technology and sperm or egg donation — who are explaining how much harm this has caused them. Some say they feel like a business transaction. One man, conceived through sperm donation, said he would not advise any other woman to conceive a child using donor sperm. He said he feels deep emotions from being separated from his biological father.

“It is a no-true-win situation for a child to grow up as donor-conceived,” he said. “The best that can be hoped for is that a child mitigates the negative impacts, but that is heavily dependent on several circumstances from environment, access to role-models, time for intentionality, economic factors, and temperament of that child. Without the connection to both biological parents, the process for a child to grow and mature is significantly hampered. Both scientific research and thousands of anecdotal experiences like mine make this abundantly clear.”

A man who was created through traditional surrogacy (his biological mother birthed him for someone else) said, “Something horrible happened to us at birth. We lost our mothers. They did not die, but they might as well have been dead because we lost them in the capacity of mother, and to a tiny baby, that feels like death… That makes us feel very rejected. That leaves a hole in our hearts whether we admit to it or it manifests some other way like in depression or a fear of getting close to someone else…”

Not the same as adoption

Another X commenter, Brittani, wrote, “Respectfully this is the same as adoption though. A baby who is absolutely wanted, has the option to meet biological parents and siblings in the future, and completely loved.”

But IVF and sperm donation are far different from adoption. Adoption exists to attempt to heal a wound — the loss of the mother or father. Sperm donation, egg donation, and surrogacy exist to create that wound with the intended purpose of separating the child from her biological parent or parents.

Children need and deserve both their biological mother and biological father, and research shows that children raised in a home with their biological, married parents are healthier both physically and mentally. Tragically, children living with their mother and her boyfriend are 11 times more likely to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused than children living with their married, biological parents. A 2002 study from the Urban Institute revealed that 15.7% of children ages six to 11 living with cohabiting parents had serious emotional problems such as depression compared to 3.5% of those living with their married parents.

When asked why he was doing this, Lael simply replied, “Money.”

“A good month, I’d say $900,” he explained. “If I go less, than I’d say typically $600. If you want to kind of break it in half: $700-$750. That’s what I sell it for, yeah, mm hmmm. … Sometimes they have bonuses where I’ve made thousands in a month before, like I made $3,000 in a month.”

His example — and those of other men who have fathered hundreds of children — contradicts the narrative that such a thing as sperm “donation” even exists. It demolishes the idea that the billion dollar fertility industry was built out of compassion for those living with infertility rather than for the huge financial windfall that comes with creating babies for sale. Like Lael said, there were months during which he was given bonuses — meaning he presumably sold more sperm than usual in those months.

Lael also said that the clinic where he sells his sperm has not prevented him from selling more than 200 times, despite rules that cap the inaccurately named “donations.” Such rules exist in part so that the children aren’t growing up and becoming intimately involved with a half sibling.

Beyond those fears, sperm “donation” is unethical because this man is selling his sperm for profit so that the fertility industry can create children with the full intention of separating those children from their biological parent or parents. Every child has a right to know their biological parents and their genetic history. The fertility industry pays for the sperm (or eggs) and then charges the intended parents tens of thousands of dollars between the price for “donated” sperm and the IVF process. It’s an industry — not a charity.

The effects of sperm “donation” on children

Some who commented on the Twitter post claimed that selling sperm is completely ethical because these children are “wanted.”

“The children are with the parents who wanted them & they can meet the sperm donor & their many siblings later, if they choose to. Who says they are traumatized by it? Who says they aren’t wanted & loved?” said Rory.

But contrary to Rory’s wishful thinking, it’s the now-adult children themselves — created using artificial reproductive technology and sperm or egg donation — who are explaining how much harm this has caused them. Some say they feel like a business transaction. One man, conceived through sperm donation, said he would not advise any other woman to conceive a child using donor sperm. He said he feels deep emotions from being separated from his biological father.

“It is a no-true-win situation for a child to grow up as donor-conceived,” he said. “The best that can be hoped for is that a child mitigates the negative impacts, but that is heavily dependent on several circumstances from environment, access to role-models, time for intentionality, economic factors, and temperament of that child. Without the connection to both biological parents, the process for a child to grow and mature is significantly hampered. Both scientific research and thousands of anecdotal experiences like mine make this abundantly clear.”

A man who was created through traditional surrogacy (his biological mother birthed him for someone else) said, “Something horrible happened to us at birth. We lost our mothers. They did not die, but they might as well have been dead because we lost them in the capacity of mother, and to a tiny baby, that feels like death… That makes us feel very rejected. That leaves a hole in our hearts whether we admit to it or it manifests some other way like in depression or a fear of getting close to someone else…”

Not the same as adoption

Another X commenter, Brittani, wrote, “Respectfully this is the same as adoption though. A baby who is absolutely wanted, has the option to meet biological parents and siblings in the future, and completely loved.”

But IVF and sperm donation are far different from adoption. Adoption exists to attempt to heal a wound — the loss of the mother or father. Sperm donation, egg donation, and surrogacy exist to create that wound with the intended purpose of separating the child from her biological parent or parents.

Children need and deserve both their biological mother and biological father, and research shows that children raised in a home with their biological, married parents are healthier both physically and mentally. Tragically, children living with their mother and her boyfriend are 11 times more likely to be sexually, physically, or emotionally abused than children living with their married, biological parents. A 2002 study from the Urban Institute revealed that 15.7% of children ages six to 11 living with cohabiting parents had serious emotional problems such as depression compared to 3.5% of those living with their married parents.