‘The hardest yes’: How I found healing and purpose in choosing life and open adoption

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the guest author.

I will never forget the day those two pink lines appeared.

It was a Tuesday afternoon. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, the pregnancy test trembling in my hands, my breath caught in my throat. The room felt both silent and deafening all at once. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears, feel the heat rush to my face, and feel the pit in my stomach. 

The world seemed to tilt slightly as the reality sank in — I was 21, unmarried, and pregnant. In that moment, a thousand thoughts screamed through my mind.

What will my family say? How will I raise a baby in this situation? Am I ready for this?

And then, the deepest, quietest truth rose above all the noise: There is a life inside of me. I cannot take it away.

I didn’t plan to be pregnant. I didn’t have a roadmap or a script for what would come next. What I did have was a deep conviction: the life growing inside me mattered. That certainty became my starting place, even when I didn’t yet know how to take the next step.

In the early days, the loudest feelings were fear and uncertainty. I kept moving anyway — one conversation, one appointment, one prayer at a time. I asked God to meet me where I was and to make a way where I couldn’t see one.

He did.

Walking Through Pregnancy

I believe with my whole heart that God places the right people in our lives at exactly the right time. For me, one of those people was Pastor Diana.

When I told her I was pregnant, I braced myself for disappointment or judgment. But instead, she looked at me with eyes full of compassion and said, “We’ll walk through this together.” And she meant it. She constantly reminded me that I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. 

God blessed me with a whole new village when I was pregnant. Friends and family that would come to my appointments with me, pray over me and constantly remind me that both my baby and I have good plans and purpose.

When my fear told me I couldn’t do it, the body of Christ reminded me of the God who could.

Why I Chose Adoption

As I thought about my baby’s future and my own reality, I began to consider adoption.

After every meeting with my case workers, I left crying because I didn’t want to imagine having to hand my baby away. I constantly questioned, “Will he think that I did love him?”  Or “Will he hate me one day because of this?”

I had to have God soften my heart because it wasn’t that I didn’t love my child; it was because I did.

I wanted stability, a home prepared for this little life, and a future full of opportunity. Open adoption offered a path to honor all of that while keeping a real, ongoing connection.

I learned what openness could look like — honest communication, shared updates, and the possibility of a growing relationship centered on our child’s best interest. The more I prayed and learned, the more peace I felt that this was the right decision.

Building an Adoption Plan

I gathered information, asked hard questions, and made choices with care. I looked for a family who would cherish my child and respect me as a birth mom. I wanted people who would hold adoption with reverence — who would celebrate our child while honoring the sacrifice and love woven into his story.

When I began looking at family profiles, I prayed over every page I turned, studied their pictures, read their stories, and imagined the kind of life each home might give my son.

When I found the right family, I knew it — not because everything suddenly became easy, but because the heavy decision was met with peace that passed all understanding.

Birth and Placement

The day my son was born is a memory carved into my heart.

The hospital room was dim and quiet except for the rhythmic beeping of monitors. When the nurse placed him on my chest, time stopped.

I traced my finger over his tiny nose, memorized the curve of his lips, and felt the rise and fall of his small chest against mine. He opened his eyes — just for a moment — and in that instant, I knew my life would never be the same.

However, the following day was the hardest moment of my life.

The room was filled with both love and grief — two emotions I never knew could exist together so powerfully. I held him one last time as my baby, breathing in his scent and trying to soak up every detail.

When I placed him into the arms of his adoptive parents, the tears came uncontrollably. But as I looked at them holding him — their faces lit with joy and awe — I felt an overwhelming peace. This was what God had prepared me for.

They weren’t replacing me. They were continuing the love story that began in my womb.

Open adoption didn’t erase the pain, but it framed it with purpose. It meant I wasn’t disappearing from my child’s story; I was choosing a different role in it — a role defined by love, not loss.

Life as a Birth Mom

There is beauty in open adoption: seeing your child known and adored, watching them thrive, being part of a story that took all of us to write.

There is also grief that comes in waves. Both are true. I’ve learned to hold the paradox with Jesus — letting Him meet me on the days that are heavy and celebrate with me on the days that brim with joy.

Out of this journey grew a calling. I’m a Christian, a birth mom, and an advocate who believes that sharing our stories changes other people’s futures. I launched The Journey After to make space for that — conversations about faith, healing, adoption, and the hope that follows the hardest yes.

My passion is to speak to the woman who feels alone or ashamed and to tell her she is seen, loved, and capable of choosing life. My heart wants to encourage women who find themselves going down the dark paths that this isn’t God best for you and you are made for so much more.

“Blessed are those pure in heart for they will see God.” -Matthew 5:8

Healing, Redemption, and Purpose

Today, my life is not defined by shame, but by redemption. I’ve found healing in community, through my faith, and by choosing to speak boldly about the things culture tries to silence.

I want to be a voice that reminds women they are not alone, that life is always worth it, and that Jesus redeems every broken piece.

If that’s you right now, your baby’s life has value and so does yours. You don’t have to have all the answers to take the next honest step. Ask questions. Seek wise voices. Pray. There are paths — like open adoption — that protect your child and honor your love as a mother. 

Adoption is not giving up; it is giving everything. It is a choice rooted in love, and it is strong.

Bio: Jordan Daugherty is a birth mom, pro-life advocate, and host of The Journey After.

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