Fran had an abortion to appease her boyfriend, and today tells everyone how ‘abortion truly hurts women’

Fran Schaeffer had just graduated college, and was in love with a young man whom she eventually planned to marry. Then she discovered she was pregnant. She was excited and couldn’t wait to tell her boyfriend the news. But Schaeffer was stunned at his reaction.

“My boyfriend made it clear he did not want our child,” Schaeffer told Live Action News. “He urged me to get an abortion quickly. I never expected him to respond that way.”

 It wouldn’t be until years later that Schaeffer would get some insight into his uncaring behavior.

Confused and frightened, Schaeffer sought counsel from a priest but was unable to secure an immediate appointment. A friend, a devout Christian, encouraged her to continue the pregnancy. Finally, Schaeffer met with a Baptist minister who coldly told her it was solely her decision whether to have the abortion. 

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“I was raised in a Catholic household and knew in my heart that abortion was wrong,” Schaeffer said. “But all my life I struggled with low self-esteem and now I felt embarrassed at having a child out-of-wedlock. I couldn’t bear to tell my parents and felt like I failed them. I didn’t want to live with the stigma of being an unwed mother. It was selfish of me to even think that at the time.”

Still, for three months, Schaeffer grappled with whether to terminate the life of the child growing inside her. During this time, her boyfriend continued to pressure her to end the pregnancy, just as he had once pressured her to engage in sex, informing her that time was running short.

“He told me that if I had the baby, he would have nothing to do with me or the child,” Schaeffer said. “That sealed the decision. I wanted to please him and still hoped we’d marry.”

Because it was 1970, abortion was illegal in Texas, so Schaeffer and her boyfriend traveled to a New York abortion business. Schaeffer didn’t remember much from that day. It was as if her mind intentionally blocked out the ordeal. She vaguely recalls being informed her baby was a boy, but now wonders if that memory was an illusion. Afterward, she went to church, St. Ignatius of Loyola, at the suggestion of her boyfriend.

“The church was rather dark inside, yet I fell to my knees, praying fervently for forgiveness,” Schaeffer said. 

Broken relationships spur renewal of faith

After she returned home, her boyfriend severed ties with her and moved on. The heartbreak of the abortion coupled with the pain of a broken relationship compelled Schaeffer to seek validation in casual sexual relationships, but she vowed never to have another abortion.

Despite her carefree, no-strings attached lifestyle, Schaeffer met a man 11 years her senior and the two dated, eventually marrying. Schaeffer never revealed to him the abortion she had years earlier. 

Schaeffer said, “The marriage was stormy due to his struggle with alcohol, and it ended after three years. But we did have a child together, a son, the love of my life, who was just three months old when we divorced.”

Now a single mother, Schaeffer felt compelled to recharge her faith. She attended a four-day ecumenical retreat, “Journey to Damascus,” which helped her face her personal demons and boost her lagging self-esteem. While there, she heard a woman bravely tell her post-abortion story, to which Schaeffer could relate. 

“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” Schaeffer said. “I felt as if she was telling my story. Here was someone who went through the same experience as I had. I felt emboldened to share my testimony as well, and I did in my small group. Up until this time, only three other people knew of my abortion.”

Now that her “secret” was revealed, Schaeffer was freed to continue to share her testimony with others in the hope they, too, could find healing and redemption. The retreat director asked her to give a talk about her faith experience to retreat participants. 

Sharing testimony to help others and encourage the abortion debate 

Schaeffer said, “At first, I thought she had heard my testimony from someone in my spiritual accountability group, but she later told me she just felt led by the Holy Spirit to ask me to speak. Now, it wasn’t just those in my small group who knew my secret, but 100 people and so on.”

Around this time, a friend urged Schaeffer to take her healing to a deeper level by attending Rachel’s Vineyard retreat. At first, Schaeffer didn’t feel compelled to go, but once there, discovered she had buried so much trauma over the years. 

“I learned that I had a baby, not a procedure,” Schaeffer said. “I took part in a memorial service for my baby, whom I named ‘Zachary,’ and it was an incredibly healing and powerful experience. This was an integral part of my faith journey as was the Damascus retreat.”

Schaeffer, prompted by a notice in her church bulletin, became involved with the 40 Days for Life campaign. She joined others for a trip to the Houston Planned Parenthood, the largest abortion facility in the southwest. Schaeffer noticed not many people from her area attended, and committed to increasing the number of participants in the following years; through a concerted effort, she was successful in doing so.

Years after her abortion, her former boyfriend tracked her down to make amends. He revealed that the experience had affected him profoundly; he became an addict, using alcohol to numb his pain. 

Schaeffer said, “Apparently, someone in his family had to marry because of an unplanned pregnancy and he didn’t want that same situation for himself. For separate reasons, we both made the wrong choice.”

Understanding it was important to do so, Schaeffer continued to speak out about her abortion, and participated in the 2020 video “Breaking the Silence” that was posted on the website of her church, Prince of Peace. She’s met with family members as well, not only because she wanted to come “clean,” about her 40-year secret, but to encourage a productive debate with relatives who are pro-choice. She often sees their pro-abortion posts on social media but does not respond. Instead, she plans to spur discussion in a personal setting.

“Many who are pro-choice don’t want to have that uncomfortable conversation that challenges their stance,” Schaeffer said. “I see that in my own family. But I don’t want to preach, I just want to influence. I’ll let the Holy Spirit lead me. What’s important is that they come to grasp how abortion truly hurts women.”