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‘The biggest regret of my entire life’: Elderly woman still suffers pain of abortion regret three decades later

elderly, woman, abortion

Frequently, women suffer emotionally after their abortions, and the pain and regret can last for decades. On the website AbortionChangesYou.com, two older women shared the grief they feel because of abortions that happened many years ago.

One woman had an abortion when she was 16. Almost 50 years later, she wrote:

I’m a 63 yr old woman who had an abortion when I was 16. I became sterile due to an infection and was never able to have children. Still, barely a day goes by that I don’t regret having it and not standing up to my family who pushed me into it. Still, it is my fault for allowing it. I’ll never get over my regret, sadness, anger, and a dozen other emotions.

To those women who may be considering abortion, she said, “Think long and hard how it will affect your life. See if there’s not another option like adoption. Anything else. I’ve lived with this 47 yrs and it has never gotten easier. Just be sure you can live with your choice.”

Another post-abortive woman, who is now 71, wrote:

I had my abortion 35 years ago, and I have regretted it every day of my life since then. He or she would have been born in July, and every year when July comes around, I think about how old my child would have been, and I cry and cry.

READ: Post-abortion trauma is real, and researchers do women no favors by denying it

She says that her abortion is “the biggest regret of my entire life.” According to her, “[I] know there’s no chance that I will ever “get over it.” I murdered my own child, that’s the truth of the matter.” One memory in particular, right before her abortion, haunts her:

One of the clearest and saddest moments of my life is my memory of lying on the bed (or gurney, or whatever it was). The doctor came in, and for a split second I thought, “I don’t want to do this! I can change my mind!” But I steeled myself and had it done. And then it was done, and my precious child was dead. I threw away my own precious child like garbage!

Three and a half decades later, she says, “I will never, ever recover from this.”

She wrote that she is often preoccupied with thoughts of her aborted child:

I often think about what my child might be doing right now. Perhaps he or she would be a teacher, or a doctor or nurse. Perhaps he or she would love me like I loved my own dear mother and would be calling me every day to see how I’m doing, like I called my own mother.

She is filled with regret, and wishes she could go back in time:

If I could only go back to that instant lying there on the gurney, when I thought, “I could change my mind!” It was all possible at that moment, a future with a child to love, a child who would love me… but instead, my own precious baby was thrown away like garbage. And I will never, ever recover from what I’ve done.

These are only two of the many women who have suffered emotionally after their abortions. Abortion regret can last a lifetime. These women had their abortions decades ago, but the pain is still intense, and they mourn for their aborted children.

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