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I will never forget that day. I was 20 weeks pregnant and I had a doctor’s visit. It was the day when I had hoped my dream had to come true, a simple and incredibly big dream.
Let it be a girl! I thought. I will love her — I love my baby already despite the gender, but… I dream of a little girl!
I dreamed of how I would teach her that all girls are princesses, and would teach her true princess manners, and how to choose accessories that go with her outfit, and how to look after herself. And I would teach her to travel all over the world while not leaving her room by diving into books! I would also teach her to draw, and to play with colors like instruments. I dreamed of painting the walls of her room with a rainbow, the symbol of hope.
But suddenly the doctor stopped and said, “You need to see another doctor to prove my diagnosis… I’ll arrange an appointment with a good specialist. But if he proves my diagnosis, don’t waste time. There is no chance for life…”
The doctor tried to comfort me, but it was clear that even a specialist like her lacked words in that moment.
In another medical clinic I received no better news. “You cannot help this baby anymore. There are no chances for life,” they said. “The baby’s kidneys are covered with cysts — they are the size of a newborn’s while the baby is just 20 weeks! The bladder isn’t visible.” They told me that the baby was living on my body’s support, but this couldn’t last. “The best outcome is that the baby will survive to birth but will die soon after… but it will suffer,” they said. “Make an appointment for an abortion. You are too far along already for any further delay.”
That was when my dreams came to an end.
It was very difficult, but I was sure that God could use even the most complicated situation for His glory and my salvation. God is mighty in our weakness. I remembered the passage from the Bible in Luke 1:37, which says, “For with God nothing shall be impossible!”
Instead of an abortion, we planned a delivery date for my baby, who was a girl. Doctors worried about my health. Natural birth was too dangerous due to the size of baby’s tummy. I was calm, though anxious, and I hoped for a miracle.
My little angel started her life in intensive care. After a week they brought her to the neonatal unit. I left the hospital with my baby, who had the diagnosis of “birth defect of kidneys – bilateral polycystic ovary.” We had to go for weekly general urine tests, and monthly monitoring of her creatinine level. If anything became worse we were to go to the hospital immediately. I was terrified when I saw her huge belly. I was afraid I might hurt her — her chest was enormous and her inner organs were pressing on it, and that scared me too.
Despite this, I was watching her with faith and enjoyed numerous positive moments. The Lord comes in quietness… He comes to the broken hearted, to those who stop expecting miracles from people and expect miracles from Him. I waited, sometimes with faith, and sometimes I asked for more faith… and waited… and tried to live on. I remembered John 14:1, which says, “Let not your heart be troubled: believe in God, believe also in Me.”
Today, my daughter Anna is 11 years old, and while traveling to different hospitals in different countries was never easy, I was always happy I had chosen life.
Anna is a very talented young painter now. Anna’s disease hasn’t disappeared, but despite any existing difficulties, we have learned to mix the grey-colored routine with some bright colors. Together with Anna, I give lessons in Sunday schools and paint for hospitals. We like to be invited to women’s meetings, and we are happy to encourage others.
My Anna studies at home, and I have organized an art club with her called “Art Princesses.” We paint together, have lessons about etiquette, and I teach children how to have good posture, because they are young ladies — princesses!
We wrote and published a book in Ukraine about our story, and we hope to have the opportunity to share our story in other places around the world. We are pro-life and we believe it is the most important thing in life!
Editor’s Note: This submission has been edited by Live Action News for clarity.
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