I’ve got some advice for Planned Parenthood… And you.

Have you ever gotten an unexpected favor? I sure have: a ways back, some really nice folks put my email address on Planned Parenthood’s fundraising list.

As a result, America’s largest abortion chain regularly hits me up for money. I’ve never gotten asked for advice, though, which is unfortunate, because I think I could’ve offered some.

For example, I could’ve explained how it’s probably gonna sound bad if clinic staff refer to a fetus as “a baby” or “another boy.” If the fetus in question just got aborted, then you can scratch out the word “probably.” I didn’t convey this message to Planned Parenthood, however. Judging from the video below, neither did anyone else.

Planned Parenthood VP Says Fetuses May Come Out Intact, Agrees Payments Specific to the Specimen

That’s the Vice President and Medical Director for Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains, Dr. Savita Ginde. She wasn’t  the only one to cause Planned Parenthood PR issues last year; so did their Senior Director of Medical Services, Dr. Deborah Nucatola.

There’s evidence that preborn children can feel pain at 20 weeks, but that didn’t stop Nucatola from describing how she can “crush” them and harvest their organs:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjxwVuozMnU?rel=0&showinfo=0]

We’ve been very good at getting heart, lung, liver, because we know that, so I’m not gonna crush that part, I’m gonna basically crush below, I’m gonna crush above, and I’m gonna see if I can get it all intact.

Then there was Dr. Mary Gatter, President of Planned Parenthood’s Medical Directors Council. Gatter said she had no problem changing how abortions are performed to make organ collection easier. Doing so would violate federal law, but Dr. Gatter had a strong incentive:  she wanted “a Lamborghini.”

Second Planned Parenthood Senior Executive Haggles Over Baby Parts Prices, Changes Abortion Methods

And the embarrassing moments just kept coming, like when employees at Planned Parenthood’s Gulf Coast facility burst out laughing because fetal body parts were “all mixed up together in a bag.” Among them were the remains of a child who’d been aborted at 20 weeks. “It was a twin,” a staffer noted.

Intact Fetuses "Just a Matter of Line Items" for Planned Parenthood TX Mega-Center

In addition to telling Planned Parenthood what to avoid, I could also provide some pointers on something they should do. Specifically, when a man shows up with a pregnant 13 year-old and demands an abortion, it’s a good time to contact the authorities. Staff at the clinic where Timothy Smith brought his stepdaughter didn’t realize this.

Smith wanted an abortion to hide the abuse he committed, and he didn’t have trouble finding one. An employee later acknowledged that “being thirteen and pregnant alone is not a red flag.”

Gary Cross found the same attitude when he took his 13 year-old stepdaughter to Planned Parenthood. So did other child rapists like John Blanks, Jr., Adam Gault, Joseph Coles, Kevon Walker, Edgar Ramirez, and Grey David Woods. Clearly, Planned Parenthood’s employees need to be told that evidence of sexual abuse is something they should take note of. Oh, and here’s another tip: when a teen explicitly tells you her incestuous father is waiting outside, you really shouldn’t just turn her back over to him. That might get you sued.

Also, informing a rape victim that reporting the crime will involve too much paperwork isn’t a good move either. According to local law enforcement, an investigation into accused Arizona serial rapist Tyler Kost could have been opened “months before” if Planned Parenthood had submitted a report from one of his alleged victims.

Now the truth is, I’ve got a feeling that no one at Planned Parenthood actually reads to what I have to say (sending me stuff like this is kind of a giveaway). Since they won’t bother with my advice, I’ll offer you some: tell Congress you want Planned Parenthood’s half billion dollars in funding sent to federally qualified health centers (FQHCs) instead.

With over nine thousand locations across the country, FQHCs provide care to those with limited means. Further, the care they offer is more comprehensive than what’s available at Planned Parenthood: whereas FQHCs did over five hundred thousand mammograms in 2014, Planned Parenthood performed none. As an added bonus, you don’t have to tell them not to cover up rape.

Of course, Planned Parenthood isn’t alone in asking me for money, and they certainly aren’t the only ones who could benefit from a few words of wisdom. Come back in a bit, and you’ll see who the next recipient is.

(To be continued…)