New Human Matters: Why couples shouldn't live together before marriage

In the latest episode of Human Matters with Sami Parker, a video series powered by Live Action, Parker spoke about cohabitation before marriage, arguing that while living together seems like a good idea, it can actually be detrimental to a relationship.

Key Takeaways:

• In the latest episode of Human Matters, host Sami Parker discussed why cohabitation before marriage isn't a good idea.

• She pointed to statistics that show that couples who live together before marriage face higher rates of divorce than couples who do not cohabitate.

• Cohabitating couples and married couples face the same challenges, but those who are married have made a vow and entered into a commitment to stay together, while cohabitating couples don't have the same levels of commitment.

The Details:

In the video, Parker noted that "living together before marriage has become the 'next step' in modern relationships." However, this wasn't in God's plan for flourishing — and the statistics back it up. Studies consistently show that couples who live together before marriage face higher rates of divorce than couples who do not cohabitate before marriage.

Does it Actually Help to Live Together Before Marriage?

"Cohabitation asks you to give someone marriage-level access to your life, body, routines, and future without marriage-level commitment, protection, or accountability," she said.

She explained that marriage can have incredible joys and significant struggles, the same as cohabitation. However, unlike cohabitating couples, married couples have made a commitment to stay together. She said:

"In marriage, you vow before God, your parents and siblings and a bunch of other people that you will stick together and be one, especially when it’s hard. But in cohabitation, there is no covenant, no vow, no circle of accountability from friends and family that helps hold your relationship together. Having endurance to build and grow and love one another better is optional because the only external force really keeping you together to some degree is a rental agreement."

"Cohabitating is conditional," Parker explained. "But marriage is entirely different because at its core, it says, 'I chose you' instead of cohabitating, which says, 'I am still deciding on you based on your performance.'” 

The Bottom Line:

Ultimately, Parker said, marriage offers stability that isn't found in cohabitation.

"There is profound importance in preserving the most tender aspects of your humanity (your deepest fears, your greatest flaws, your truest hopes) for the person who decides to anticipate, pursue, sacrifice for, and choose publicly and permanently," she said. "Marriage is the best."