Guest ColumnRead Next
Human Interest
Second infant surrendered at Safe Haven Baby Box in Wisconsin
Bridget Sielicki
·Spotlight Articles
Our 'Big Fam': A story of choosing life, love, and redemption
Disclaimer: Views expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author.
Nick and I always knew adoption would be part of our story. We just never imagined God would write it this way.
Not in our timing. Not in our way. And certainly not in a way we could have ever dreamed.
We are high school sweethearts, and early in our marriage, we felt the Lord calling us to adoption. In 2020, with two little girls at home, we stepped forward in obedience and began the process.
After years of waiting, we experienced the heartbreak of a match that didn't lead to adoption. We grieved deeply while also celebrating that a birth mother had chosen to parent her child.
That experience taught us that adoption holds both joy and grief, and it deepened our trust in God's timing.
Then, on May 16, 2023, after another difficult morning, I sat beneath the big tree in our front yard and prayed, “Lord, bring us our baby. Bring us a son.”
Three and a half hours later, Nick called.
“Kelsey… we've been matched with a baby.”
Our son was on his way.
But while God was preparing our hearts to become Shepherd's parents, He was preparing his birth mother, Mikayla, to make one of the most courageous decisions of her life.
When Mikayla saw those two pink lines, she was terrified. Her pregnancy was unplanned, but from the beginning, she knew something profound:
The circumstances of Shepherd's conception did not determine the value of his life.
He was not an accident. He was not a mistake. He was intentionally created by God. He was being knitted together in her womb on purpose and for a purpose. His life was worthy. So she prayed for God's will and for the strength to take the next step.
There were several paths in front of her. She could parent Shepherd, attempt to co-parent, or choose adoption. She began meeting weekly with an adoption case worker, praying and honestly considering what each path would mean.
As the weeks passed, God closed some doors, and one remained open: adoption.
At six months pregnant, Mikayla began looking at prospective adoptive families. She prayed that God would make it abundantly clear if there was a family He wanted her to choose.
Then she opened our book.
She saw a mom and dad with two curly-headed little girls who loved each other and loved Jesus. She read our letter to her and saw that we didn't simply want a baby. We wanted an open adoption. We wanted a relationship with her.
She chose us.
When we met at Olive Garden in May 2023, we talked for hours. We laughed, cried, and dreamed about what could be. When we told Mikayla she could choose Shepherd's middle name, something shifted in her heart.
Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't disappear from his story.
Over the next three months, we built trust. We FaceTimed, planned for the hospital, introduced our families, and took one day at a time.
Mikayla spent her pregnancy preparing not only for Shepherd's arrival, but for the grief she knew would come. She wrote letters, made gifts, prayed, and poured her love into him.
She wasn't simply preparing for a birth.
She was preparing to make a deeply sacrificial decision for her son and place him into a loving home and family.
On August 10, 2023, Mikayla met Shepherd.
And from his very first moments, he was surrounded by love.
She welcomed Nick and me into the hospital room soon after his birth. I gave him his first bottle. Our rooms were next to each other, and we spent those precious days together. Talking, laughing, crying, eating takeout, watching his first bath, and marveling at this tiny boy we all loved.
But adoption is both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Mikayla was making an incredibly sacrificial choice because she believed placing Shepherd into our family was what was best for him. Her grief did not mean she loved him less.
It meant she loved him deeply.
Before we left the hospital, we gathered together one last time in Mikayla's room. Her dad prayed over all of us as we prepared to begin this new chapter.
And then I made Mikayla a promise.
“This is not the end. This is just the beginning.”
I meant every word.
Moments later, we walked out of the hospital together.
Mikayla and I carried Shepherd between us as we made our way toward the cars. I will never forget that walk.
One mother had carried him for nine months and chosen life for him.
Another mother was preparing to bring him home.
And between us was a little boy who was already deeply loved by both of us.
The morning after we brought Shepherd home, I FaceTimed Mikayla so she could see him safe and snuggled in his new home. We continued texting almost every day.
Three weeks later, about 20 of us gathered together. Birth family and adoptive family, all celebrating the same little boy.
We called ourselves “The Big Fam.”
Nearly four years later, that name has become our reality.
Mikayla is like a little sister to me and one of my closest friends. She stays at our house, FaceTimes regularly, and shows up for birthdays, soccer games, dance recitals, holidays, vacations, and ordinary days. She loves Shepherd's sisters deeply, too, intentionally building relationships with them because they are part of her family, too.
We celebrate Big Fam Christmas together. We have taken summer vacations together. We make memories together.
This is what open adoption looks like for us.
It isn't simple. It holds joy and grief, love and loss, beauty and brokenness. But Shepherd's story began with a courageous woman choosing life.
His unplanned beginning did not make his life less valuable.
His circumstances did not determine his worth.
His life was worthy because he was created by God.
Mikayla chose life for her son, and then she courageously trusted God with his future.
And God took that “yes” and built something none of us could have imagined. He didn't replace one family with another.
He expanded a family.
Shepherd gained parents who adore him, a birth mother who loves him fiercely, sisters who love him, grandparents on both sides, and a Big Fam surrounding him.
We gained a son.
And we gained Mikayla.
What began with two pink lines and a frightened young mother became a story of courage, sacrifice, redemption, and a family built by love.
And every time I look around our Big Fam, I am reminded:
God was writing a story long before any of us could see the ending.
Mikayla chose life.
Shepherd was worth choosing.
And because of that courageous “yes,” all of us are family.
Live Action News is pro-life news and commentary from a pro-life perspective.
Our work is possible because of our donors. Please consider giving to further our work of changing hearts and minds on issues of life and human dignity.
Contact editor@liveaction.org for questions, corrections, or if you are seeking permission to reprint any Live Action News content.
Guest Articles: To submit a guest article to Live Action News, email editor@liveaction.org with an attached Word document of 800-1000 words. Please also attach any photos relevant to your submission if applicable. If your submission is accepted for publication, you will be notified within three weeks. Guest articles are not compensated (see our Open License Agreement). Thank you for your interest in Live Action News!
Bridget Sielicki
·
Guest Column
Rep. Chris Smith
·
Guest Column
Bryan Lawrence Gonsalves
·
Human Interest
Right to Life UK
·
Guest Column
Liberty Counsel
·
Guest Column
Rebecca Oas, Ph.D.
·Our 'Big Fam': A story of choosing life, love, and redemption
Disclaimer: Views expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author.
Nick and I always knew adoption would be part of our story. We just never imagined God would write it this way.
Not in our timing. Not in our way. And certainly not in a way we could have ever dreamed.
We are high school sweethearts, and early in our marriage, we felt the Lord calling us to adoption. In 2020, with two little girls at home, we stepped forward in obedience and began the process.
After years of waiting, we experienced the heartbreak of a match that didn't lead to adoption. We grieved deeply while also celebrating that a birth mother had chosen to parent her child.
That experience taught us that adoption holds both joy and grief, and it deepened our trust in God's timing.
Then, on May 16, 2023, after another difficult morning, I sat beneath the big tree in our front yard and prayed, “Lord, bring us our baby. Bring us a son.”
Three and a half hours later, Nick called.
“Kelsey… we've been matched with a baby.”
Our son was on his way.
But while God was preparing our hearts to become Shepherd's parents, He was preparing his birth mother, Mikayla, to make one of the most courageous decisions of her life.
When Mikayla saw those two pink lines, she was terrified. Her pregnancy was unplanned, but from the beginning, she knew something profound:
The circumstances of Shepherd's conception did not determine the value of his life.
He was not an accident. He was not a mistake. He was intentionally created by God. He was being knitted together in her womb on purpose and for a purpose. His life was worthy. So she prayed for God's will and for the strength to take the next step.
There were several paths in front of her. She could parent Shepherd, attempt to co-parent, or choose adoption. She began meeting weekly with an adoption case worker, praying and honestly considering what each path would mean.
As the weeks passed, God closed some doors, and one remained open: adoption.
At six months pregnant, Mikayla began looking at prospective adoptive families. She prayed that God would make it abundantly clear if there was a family He wanted her to choose.
Then she opened our book.
She saw a mom and dad with two curly-headed little girls who loved each other and loved Jesus. She read our letter to her and saw that we didn't simply want a baby. We wanted an open adoption. We wanted a relationship with her.
She chose us.
When we met at Olive Garden in May 2023, we talked for hours. We laughed, cried, and dreamed about what could be. When we told Mikayla she could choose Shepherd's middle name, something shifted in her heart.
Maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't disappear from his story.
Over the next three months, we built trust. We FaceTimed, planned for the hospital, introduced our families, and took one day at a time.
Mikayla spent her pregnancy preparing not only for Shepherd's arrival, but for the grief she knew would come. She wrote letters, made gifts, prayed, and poured her love into him.
She wasn't simply preparing for a birth.
She was preparing to make a deeply sacrificial decision for her son and place him into a loving home and family.
On August 10, 2023, Mikayla met Shepherd.
And from his very first moments, he was surrounded by love.
She welcomed Nick and me into the hospital room soon after his birth. I gave him his first bottle. Our rooms were next to each other, and we spent those precious days together. Talking, laughing, crying, eating takeout, watching his first bath, and marveling at this tiny boy we all loved.
But adoption is both beautiful and heartbreaking.
Mikayla was making an incredibly sacrificial choice because she believed placing Shepherd into our family was what was best for him. Her grief did not mean she loved him less.
It meant she loved him deeply.
Before we left the hospital, we gathered together one last time in Mikayla's room. Her dad prayed over all of us as we prepared to begin this new chapter.
And then I made Mikayla a promise.
“This is not the end. This is just the beginning.”
I meant every word.
Moments later, we walked out of the hospital together.
Mikayla and I carried Shepherd between us as we made our way toward the cars. I will never forget that walk.
One mother had carried him for nine months and chosen life for him.
Another mother was preparing to bring him home.
And between us was a little boy who was already deeply loved by both of us.
The morning after we brought Shepherd home, I FaceTimed Mikayla so she could see him safe and snuggled in his new home. We continued texting almost every day.
Three weeks later, about 20 of us gathered together. Birth family and adoptive family, all celebrating the same little boy.
We called ourselves “The Big Fam.”
Nearly four years later, that name has become our reality.
Mikayla is like a little sister to me and one of my closest friends. She stays at our house, FaceTimes regularly, and shows up for birthdays, soccer games, dance recitals, holidays, vacations, and ordinary days. She loves Shepherd's sisters deeply, too, intentionally building relationships with them because they are part of her family, too.
We celebrate Big Fam Christmas together. We have taken summer vacations together. We make memories together.
This is what open adoption looks like for us.
It isn't simple. It holds joy and grief, love and loss, beauty and brokenness. But Shepherd's story began with a courageous woman choosing life.
His unplanned beginning did not make his life less valuable.
His circumstances did not determine his worth.
His life was worthy because he was created by God.
Mikayla chose life for her son, and then she courageously trusted God with his future.
And God took that “yes” and built something none of us could have imagined. He didn't replace one family with another.
He expanded a family.
Shepherd gained parents who adore him, a birth mother who loves him fiercely, sisters who love him, grandparents on both sides, and a Big Fam surrounding him.
We gained a son.
And we gained Mikayla.
What began with two pink lines and a frightened young mother became a story of courage, sacrifice, redemption, and a family built by love.
And every time I look around our Big Fam, I am reminded:
God was writing a story long before any of us could see the ending.
Mikayla chose life.
Shepherd was worth choosing.
And because of that courageous “yes,” all of us are family.
Live Action News is pro-life news and commentary from a pro-life perspective.
Our work is possible because of our donors. Please consider giving to further our work of changing hearts and minds on issues of life and human dignity.
Contact editor@liveaction.org for questions, corrections, or if you are seeking permission to reprint any Live Action News content.
Guest Articles: To submit a guest article to Live Action News, email editor@liveaction.org with an attached Word document of 800-1000 words. Please also attach any photos relevant to your submission if applicable. If your submission is accepted for publication, you will be notified within three weeks. Guest articles are not compensated (see our Open License Agreement). Thank you for your interest in Live Action News!
Bridget Sielicki
·Guest Column
Rep. Chris Smith
·Guest Column
Bryan Lawrence Gonsalves
·Human Interest
Right to Life UK
·Guest Column
Liberty Counsel
·Guest Column
Rebecca Oas, Ph.D.
·