WATCH: Author Emily Wilson urges Young Leaders not to fear God's calling

In a speech to attendees at Live Action's Young Leaders Summit in March, best-selling author Emily Wilson spoke about the importance of marriage, what it takes to make one last, and having the courage to follow God's calling.

Key Takeaways:

• Wilson said that culturally, people focus on the wedding more than the actual marriage.

• She explained that the true beauty in marriage is watching people live out their marriage vows, particularly in challenging times.

• In a period when society encourages people to fear commitment, Wilson encouraged attendees to commit anyway, and live the vocation to which they are called.

The Details:

What Actually Makes a Marriage Last? | Young Leaders Summit 2026

Wilson began her speech by recalling her own wedding day, which she said was a beautiful, incredible day. Yet too often, today's culture focuses too much on the wedding, and not enough on preparing for marriage.

"Marriage is often sold to us as a wedding day," she said. "I meet women who say, I wanna get married because I wanna have a wedding, right? I wanna pick out my wedding gown... It's so beautiful to watch a couple proclaim their wedding vows to each other... It's so beautiful to watch it happen, but what is even more beautiful is watching a couple choose to live those vows... to really, truly live them."

People will say their marriage vows, but fail to actually mean them, rather than remaining committed to their spouse through sickness and health, for richer or poorer. Wilson said this is largely because culturally, commitment is not encouraged:

"You and I live in a culture that's terrified of commitment. And you might be sitting in your chair and you're terrified to commit to anything in your life. You're afraid to commit to a university. You're afraid to commit to a vocation. You're afraid to commit to going out with your friends on Friday night, right? You're afraid to commit to anything at all. 

You might live your life in indecision, and hemming and hawing about everything in your life, and you're just like, 'oh my gosh, what am I gonna do? And I don't wanna make a choice, and I don't know.' Any of you feel like that in your life? We're afraid to commit constantly."

Wilson explained there are usually two reasons people fear commitment.

"We wanna keep our options open," she said. "And we don't know what we're really committing to, and we're really afraid of the unknown of that. When I make that commitment, I'm scared of what's gonna happen because there is an unknown portion of this, and I wanna know what it is in order to commit to it."

Zoom In:

Marriage, according to Wilson, has become harder in our culture, as we have become a people that struggle with following through. "We've become unreliable and we've become lazy, struggling to follow through on anything that we say," she said, and added that people often don't want to grow:

"Our culture has lulled us to sleep, into sloth, into laziness, with distractions, and with constantly taking the easy way out. But committing in a counter-cultural way to a life of service and love and humility and giving is the call for all of us in our lives, no matter what vocation God may call you to.

Maybe that's to marriage, maybe that's to the priesthood, maybe that's to the religious life, maybe that's to single life. He calls all of us to humility and service and trust and love; we have to decide that we're gonna commit to that." 

Ultimately, Wilson said commitment is what sets us free:

"A wise and rooted person knows that when you're so committed to the person, if you're called to marriage, that you have vowed your life to, your eyes aren't even looking around to see what better options are out there.

Because you're fixed, you're focused, and you're locked in on the commitment you made and following through on that commitment that you made, right? This is the person, this is the vow, this is the goal, is to walk toward heaven together, right?

There is a richness and a depth to this commitment, to the commitment of marriage that has been lost in this world that is worth living in our own lives today."

She explained that making a marriage work requires being a person who follows through on their commitments.

"Stop procrastinating, and that will mold you and shape you to be more ready if God calls you to marriage, to serve immediately, to love immediately, to not say, 'I'm gonna do it next week, I'm gonna do it next month. I'm gonna do it next year.' You're gonna do it now..." she said.

The second requirement is to be obedient to what the Lord asks of you. "Whatever you call me to do, whatever you call me to share, whatever you want me to do, I'm open to it," she said.

The Bottom Line:

"Committing to marriage has stretched me, and challenged me in so many ways, and I've done it so imperfectly, and I'm so grateful for the Lord's mercy, for my husband's mercy, and seeing me through every step of the way in that imperfection of my follow-through," Wilson concluded. 

"But most importantly, as you commit, it's going to call you to keep your gaze fixed on the Lord, who called you into something greater than yourself, who says, in that moment with Peter, with all of the disciples out on the water, He says to them in that moment, and He says it to us today: 'Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid.'" 

"He says that to you, He says that to me," she said. "So my brothers and sisters, be not afraid to grow. Be not afraid to be obedient, be not afraid to commit, be not afraid to serve, to love, to lay down your life for something greater than yourself. Jesus will always be with you every single moment. Be not afraid."