Losing both grandmothers to MAiD in Canada 'wrecked' him

Benjamin Turland lost both of his grandmothers to Canada's legalized euthanasia and assisted suicide program, known as Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD). While much has been shared about the devastating numbers of Canadians who are dying through the program, less has been shared about the lasting impact those deaths have on the family members left behind.

Key Takeaways:

• Benjamin Turland said that losing both his grandmothers to MAiD "wrecked" him, and caused lasting trauma.

• He explained the difference between watching a loved one die naturally and watching one choose death — and how it affects those left behind.

• Turland encouraged viewers to discourage their grandparents from choosing MAiD, because in his experience, losing someone to MAiD is more painful than losing them to natural death.

MAID Hurts | Benjamin Turland's Story

The Details:

A new video from Dying to Meet You — "a project of cultural renewal to humanize our conversation on suffering, death, meaning, and hope... seek[ing] to value every human person," according to creator Amanda Achtman — sheds light on some of the lasting trauma that MAiD leaves in its wake. In an interview with Achtman, Benjamin Turland shared his heart-wrenching experience in losing both of his grandmothers to euthanasia in Canada.

Turland shared with Achtman that his first grandmother was very close to dying of natural causes, so he couldn't understand why she chose to go through with a MAID death. "It just wrecked me," he said.

Two months later, his second grandmother — whom he described as one of his closest confidantes and one of his closest friends — also chose to pursue euthanasia. On her sickbed, she thanked him for letting her "go through" with euthanasia, even though he said he didn't want her to do it. That left him with a strong guilt.

"Why didn't I say something?" he thought afterward.

Zoom In:

Turland explained that seeing both of his grandmothers choose euthanasia prompted him to do some soul-searching.

"Did I not love you enough? Did I not love you the correct way?" he wondered. "Did I not make you feel like you're not a burden?... What did I do wrong that makes you want to end it now?"

Achtman noted that "It's always painful to lose the people we love," and asked Turland, "What difference does it make to lose someone to medical assistance in dying?"

"It's the choice of MAiD that hurts," Turland said, noting that when his grandfathers both passed, "it was the natural time for them to go. But when you choose it, you feel like then there's something I could have done, and it impacts multiple generations."

He advised everyone to discourage their grandparents from choosing MAiD now, before it's too late. He believes most grandchildren can have a bigger influence than they realize.

"You can't lose anything by telling them how much you love them and you want to be with them," he said.

The Bottom Line:

The rapid expansion of "assisted dying" in Canada and around the globe is championed as a win for people who want to control every aspect of their death.

But Turland's experience exposes a dark underside to so-called 'death with dignity' — the havoc it wreaks on the family left behind. This trauma is yet another indication that suicide is never the answer.