Ironic.

Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq

Pakistani president Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq was, to use the parlance of hip-hop culture, a straight up gangsta. He proved this in 1979 by first hanging Pakistan’s former Prime Minister, Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, and then directing a terror campaign against the country’s dissidents. He also backed the Afghan mujaheddin, as did Texas Congressman Charlie Wilson. Their relationship was fictionalized in the 2007 movie, “Charlie Wilson’s War,” and the film includes a scene in which Zia takes a moment to mention the congressman’s “character flaws.” The irony of a murderous dictator lecturing a congressman on his comparatively small moral failures (excessive drinking and insufflating cocaine in front of a Playboy model) didn’t seem to register with Zia. Later, Wilson sarcastically remarks that, “You know you’ve reached rock bottom when you’re told you have character flaws by a man who hanged his predecessor in a military coup.”

In the late 1960’s, about the same time that Muhammad Zia was coming up in the Pakistani military, “Crisis Pregnancy Centers,” or CPCs were opening. Created to help women and children through difficult situations, they provided information about adoption services, as well as material, emotional, and spiritual support to expectant mothers. By offering hope and alternatives to abortion, CPCs have helped to ensure that countless infants had a chance at life.  Today, however, CPCs are being targeted by some in government and the media for being “deceptive.” Even if this allegation were always true (and it’s not), it would still pale beside the immoral and criminal behavior that is regularly seen among “choice providers” (i.e. the abortion industry). These acts have ranged from assisting rapists and sex traffickers to co-operating with white supremacists. Of course, their most glaring misdeed is also their most common: turning pre-born children into medical waste. Like President Zia, those who attack CPCs while defending abortion clinics have little sense of irony.

Among the ironically challenged is blogger Cord Jefferson. In March of 2011, Jefferson penned an article for BET.com called, “New Crisis Pregnancy Centers Threaten Black Women’s Right to Choose”, and it details how CPCs use “conservative scare tactics” and operate “under the guise of being helpful.” He is particularly resentful of the way in which CPCs “threaten” women of color, and indeed, evidence of this menacing behavior appeared in the article’s comment section. One female reader recounted how after she visited a crisis pregnancy center, the staff threatened to help her find a doctor. This women was not alone, as she alleged that other women have been threatened with such things a financial assistance and prenatal classes. Given my own experience in the pro-life movement, I admit that I can’t dismiss these claims out of hand, as I have personally witnessed pregnant women being threatened with free food and housing.

The first indication of Mr. Jefferson’s irony deficiency is the photo that accompanies his article: above a column defending unfettered access to abortion, he stuck a picture of two newborn babies. Since the sole purpose of an abortion is to preempt the birth of a baby (by removing him or her piece-by-bloody-piece from the mother’s womb), this picture is a little out of place. However,  I’m willing to give him the

benefit of the doubt regarding it, as the image may have been posted by someone at BET with a sense of humor. What is harder to explain is the conclusion that he reaches. Referring to Care Net, a faith based CPC network, he writes, “Care Net says its main desire is to ‘serve’ African-Americans and Latinas. If these people are friends to the Black community, we’d hate to see our foes.” The unnoticed irony here is that Cord Jefferson has already seen (and written in support of) one of the worst foes of black and brown children–Planned Parenthood.

“And we don’t, you know we just think, the less black kids out there the better.” These were the words of a caller offering to donate money to Planned Parenthood. The official that he spoke to, Autumn Kersey, told him that his feelings were “understandable.” When he said that he wanted to “give money specifically for a black baby,” Kersey assured him that he could. This scenario was played out again in several other states, each time being documented by Live Action.

Of course, Planned Parenthood doesn’t just stop at overt racism. It also helps child abusers cover up their crimes and pimps keep their underage girls on the street. Oh, and here’s another shot for the irony cocktail–Planned Parenthood employees tend to lie. Whereas Cord Jefferson (along with the city governments of New York and San Francisco) make broad allegations about CPCs being deceptive, Live Action has footage of Planned Parenthood doctors and clinic workers making false statements to patients.

Unfortunately, there is no organization to assist the ironically challenged. You can, however, donate to Care Net or find a crisis pregnancy center in your area to support. Granted, this will probably result in more women being threatened with offers of help, but chances are good that some smaller individuals (like the one’s pictured in Cord Jefferson’s article) will be happy that you did.