Human Matters with Sami Parker: Moms need a village

In the latest episode of Human Matters with Sami Parker, a video series powered by Live Action, Parker discusses how, historically, moms relied on a "village" of people to help them raise and care for their children. That need for support hasn't disappeared, but it does look different than it used to. Today, daycare, nannies, and even grandparents help fulfill the 'village' role and provide the support that parents need.

Key Takeaways:

• In the latest Human Matters episode, host Sami Parker talks about the importance of having a village to help raise children.

• In many cases, that village can look like grandparents, nannies, or daycare workers who love and care for your children.

• Ultimately, she said parents should try to spend as much time as possible with their children, but there is no "one-size fits all" answer when it comes to parenting.

The Details:

The Internet Picked the Wrong Villain

Parker opens her video by sharing a viral clip showing children run into the arms of their nanny, rather than their mom. Though many commenters had harsh things to say about the mother "outsourcing motherhood," Parker has a different take.

"The modern isolated nuclear family trying to do everything by themselves is actually the historical exception; it’s not the norm," she pointed out, adding:

"We don’t have a village. But raising a child still takes a village, so parents do what we need to do to continue providing for our families. If you have no village but you still need the support a village offers, you have to pay for the support. Daycare and nannies have become the new village."

She doesn't believe this is necessarily a bad thing, pointing out that ultimately, kids benefit from being around people who love them.

"Yes, mom and dad love their child most; the grandma or the live-in nanny or the daycare worker can also really love your kid," she said.

She also focuses on the idea that grandparents can play a very important role in childcare. "When my mother-in-law comes over to watch the kids, I don’t see that as some unideal situation I’m forcing my kids into by being employed," she said. "I’m seeing her loving involvement in their lives as something that’s really beautiful and contributing to their flourishing."

Zoom In:

Parker acknowledges that not everyone has family close by to help with children, and she also points to the reality that in many cases, moms need to work in order to help support the family.

"Yes, I think parents should sacrifice and try to be with their kids as much as they can. If you can avoid putting your tiny baby into full-time daycare you should," she said, adding,

But at the same time, children were never meant to be raised by one exhausted mother trying to do it all on her own. They were meant to be raised by a village. And until we can find a way to return to the old village’s dedication to each other, parents are going to keep relying on nannies and daycares.

The Bottom Line:

Ultimately, Parker said there is no "one-size fits all" approach to childcare and raising children.

"I do think parents should approach their own family's decision on childcare by centering it around their child’s wellbeing," she said. "And the goal should always be to spend as much time with your kids as you reasonably can."