Women who lose children to miscarriage are angry at the loss of their babies and angry that society doesn’t care. Rather than receiving comfort during a difficult time, they are told, “try again” or “move on.” Their post-abortive friends tell them they know how they feel. Their pregnant friends ignore their pain.
Tommy’s, an organization dedicated to saving babies from premature birth and miscarriage, has announced its #TogetherForChange campaign, bringing awareness to the fact that social media plays a huge role in pregnancy, from sharing the first exciting news of the pregnancy to the baby’s birth. But when a family suffers a miscarriage, seeing friends’ happy social media posts about pregnancy and birth become heartbreaking. It is worse when pro-abortion friends claim to understand their pain and pro-abortion organizations — like Planned Parenthood — claim abortion and miscarriage are the same. If we’re supposed to celebrate abortion, why should we mourn miscarriage?
Anna Whitehouse spoke with BBC about suffering the pain of five miscarriages and about her struggle to find the other one in four women who have been through pregnancy loss because no one really talks about it. Society has a tragic mentality that a preborn child is a “ball of tissue” or “clump of cells,” which makes grief over miscarriage appear unnecessary and excessive to those who haven’t experienced it.
“I felt like I was that one on an island, grieving for a person when I was being told, ‘No, it’s not a person – it’s a jumble of cells,'” Whitehouse explained.
According to a poll by Tommy’s, 42 percent of women who have experienced miscarriage feel pressured by social media to be happy and hide any worries or concerns. 66 percent feel “bombarded” by pregnancy news and stories on social media. 77 percent feel angry towards their pregnant friends on social media while 80 percent feel jealous of those friends.
“Baby loss isn’t just ‘one of those things’ or a ‘bunch of cells’,” said Siobhan Gray from Tommy’s, “and these feelings of guilt and jealousy can be exacerbated and engrained by our daily phone-scrolling through feeds of seemingly perfect [lives].”
A friend’s innocent post celebrating her pregnancy or her child’s birth can stir up feelings of anger and jealousy in an otherwise supportive friend. In BabyCenter’s community pages, women shared how it can be even more difficult when friends compare their abortions to miscarriage. Most women agreed miscarriage and abortion are entirely different things and that “you just can’t compare the two.” Yet, pro-choice women do.
For women who have chosen abortion, downplaying a friend’s miscarriage may allow them to remain in a state of denial over taking the lives of their own children. Others who chose abortion felt they had no other choice, and therefore they equate their abortion to miscarriage — as something forced upon them. They can’t bear to face the feelings of abortion regret, including guilt and even depression. A woman who has miscarried faces similar emotions – but from a completely different perspective. The miscarriage was out of her control, and to compare it to abortion is to imply otherwise.
Last year, when Planned Parenthood shared an article likening miscarriage to abortion, women were outraged. As Live Action News previously reported, Planned Parenthood shared the story of pro-abortion writer Danielle Campoamor who said, “Miscarriage and abortion are sisters.”
Women who lost children to miscarriage responded by calling Planned Parenthood “incredibly disrespectful” and “incredibly hurtful” towards women who had miscarried. They named the article one of “the most disturbing and disgusting things they’ve ever shared.” One mother said:
I see a distinction between me losing my child and doing anything I could to have him back and someone paying Planned Parenthood a lot of money to make sure their kid ended up dead.
Planned Parenthood is desperate to normalize abortion to make more money from it, whether through abortion clients or taxpayer dollars. They don’t care if women suffering from miscarriages are trampled along the way, or care that women suffer and grieve with guilt over the “choice” to abort their children.
If Planned Parenthood had its way and people really equated abortion and miscarriage, would women be expected to celebrate miscarriages like Planned Parenthood expects women to “shout their abortions”?
But… if women who miscarry consider it to be the loss of a baby, then wouldn’t abortion have to be viewed in the same light — as the death of a baby?
We can’t have it both ways, even though one notorious late-term abortionist has claimed, “life begins when the mother thinks it begins.” That’s insanity. We can’t celebrate the deaths of some children while mourning the loss of others. Embryos and fetuses are either living human beings or they aren’t. And science proves they are.
To women who lost their precious children to miscarriage: we hear you, we support you, and we mourn your loss.
To women who aborted their children and are dealing with trauma: We hear you. Your pain is real. We mourn your loss and support your efforts to find healing.
To Planned Parenthood: Abortion and miscarriage are not the same. Abortion is the paid-for, deliberate death of a human being; miscarriage is the uncontrollable loss of preborn life. You can’t equate the two while denying post-abortion trauma, the pain of miscarriage, and the humanity of the preborn.