Guest Column

Retired nurse: Abortion promised an answer, but created trauma in my life

husband, wife, divorce, forced abortion

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author and are not necessarily reflective of Live Action or Live Action News.

I had an abortion when I was just 18, and a college freshman. My boyfriend of two years and I were faced with an unintended pregnancy. When we went to the women’s center near our university campus, we received no options counseling. We were told only of abortion.

I was not empowered as a person to explore my options. It was “assumed” I should take care of my “problem pregnancy” quickly, and that abortion was my easy “out.” The Women’s Center personnel discussed the abortion procedure as if it was as minor as getting a tooth pulled!

When I had the abortion, a non-medical “counselor” told me it was just a “glob of pregnancy tissue.” Later, I learned that my baby’s heartbeat began beating just three weeks after conception! I was not told about the possibility of “post-abortion stress,” which I suffered. There was no discussion about the potential for lasting sadness, depression, regret, guilt, shame, flashbacks, nightmares, regret, heightened statistics of substance abuse, and breast cancer (which I later developed in my 40’s, with subsequent double mastectomies).


The first time I actually met the physician who would perform the abortion was when I was in a gown with my legs in the stirrups, already lying flat on the abortion procedure table. The abortionist did not go through any informed consent with me. That was handled in general by non-medical staff.

READ: Post-abortion trauma is real, and researchers do women no favors by denying it

The abortionist and the nurse attendant were cold and unfeeling. Though I was tearful and panicky before and during the procedure, there was no exploration of what I was feeling or experiencing. The procedure itself was painful as I felt severe pinching and pulling and sharp stabs during the suction abortion. I saw the blood in the tube. I heard the suction interrupted by clumps of tissue. This was emotionally traumatic.

After the abortion, I was changed. My previous sunshiny personality was overtaken by grief. I emotionally flatlined. My child was lost forever.

Prior to the abortion, I had never drank or smoked. I was an A and B student, homecoming queen, served on student council, and marched in the band. I was in a happy two-year relationship with my high school sweetheart.

But after the abortion, we both struggled with anger and guilt over what we had done. Our relationship imploded. I turned to alcohol to help numb my pain and succumbed to a promiscuous lifestyle. I did not feel worthy of dignity after the abortion.

The medical procedure itself felt like a violation. I am not embellishing to say that the abortion I underwent felt like a medical “rape.” The abortionist’s instrument, coupled with the insensitivity, disdain, and lack of respect given to me during the procedure by the medical doctor was a trauma in itself.

But beyond all of the trauma experienced by me and by countless other women, abortion kills an innocent human being.

A baby should not be discriminated against based upon its size, level of development, environment (womb) or dependency needs. All human beings are created equal, and should deserve equal protections under the law.

Abortion should be overturned and outlawed as the act of murder that it is. Monies would be well spent in funding pro-life pregnancy care centers that offer a myriad of free services and resources and options counseling to women at a vulnerable time of life.

It is with immense gratitude that I offer my heartfelt thanks to all those in the pregnancy help community who, with excellence, tirelessly serve those in need — offering them the dignity, truth and love that flows from the very heart of the Father. Keep up the fantastic work. You are making an eternal difference!

Bio: Susan Justice is a retired nurse, an author, and speaker sharing the devastation of abortion, and her healing through Jesus Christ. Susan is affiliated with, a ministry of The Justice Foundation. Her recently published booklet, Out of Grief and Into Wholeness: Finding Healing through Christ after Abortion, can be found on Amazon. *ALL proceeds are donated to the life-affirming work of pro-life pregnancy care centers. Susan hosts an online healing space,, and she can be reached at [email protected]

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