Leslie, a mother who recently shared her heartbreaking abortion story with The ProLife Momma on Facebook, was pushed into abortion as a teenager and said she “fell into a deep depression.” She spiraled into heavy drinking, but a second unplanned pregnancy changed everything.
“I ABORTED my baby at 17,” she said. “Not even one week after I found out I was pregnant, I was rushed into a Planned Parenthood center and laid there listening as my baby was chopped to pieces by a vacuum crushing machine. A sound that I have NEVER been able to forget.”
Leslie became depressed and tried to numb her pain with drugs and alcohol. She said she began “seeing demons in shadows and hearing voices of people talking horrible about me.” Long-term heavy alcohol use can lead to auditory and visual hallucinations, often including threatening voices. Leslie said she was able to get away from the drugs “by the grace of God” when she joined the Navy for what she hoped would be a new beginning. Instead, she continued to spiral downward.
“In the Navy I started drinking heavily, every night of the week in fact,” she explained. “I had to go for a month of inpatient rehab or get kicked out dishonorably. I thought the doctors were crazy telling me something was wrong with me that me drink so much. Like I had some kind of past trauma I did not know about. I seriously thought I just really liked to party a lot and the doctors were just in my way. My shame of the abortion was hidden deep inside and I never spoke about it to anyone.”
When off duty, Leslie was “black out drunk” to try and numb herself. She spent as much time as possible in bars. Ten years went by and she found herself pregnant again and immediately scheduled an abortion.
“Sitting in the Planned Parenthood they called my name to go back and listen again as they chop up another one of my babies,” she said. “But something told me to get up and walk out of the clinic, so I got up and walked out of the clinic. I did not know what I was going to do with a baby, I just knew I was not going to kill it.”
After walking out of the abortion facility that day, Leslie said she was “led to my dear friend” and began her journey of healing. She welcomed her baby boy and began to understand why she had spent a decade in self-sabotage.
“Once I decided to finally work on me is when I discovered all my wild impulses started after my abortion when I was 17,” she explained. “After that day I was never the same. It changed me for the worse for many years. Yes I was alive but I was dead inside. That day I had an abortion not only did it suck out and destroy my baby but it sucked out my souls and spirit to live.”
It took 20 years before she was able to forgive herself for the abortion.
Leslie urges other girls and women not to have abortions, even if they are facing pressure from their parents, friends, or partner. “Don’t just BLINDLY follow your parents or your friends who tell you to just abort YOUR baby,” she said. “Don’t just think that you will not have any consequences and will move on with your life like nothing happened. Your parents and friends think they know what’s is best for you but they don’t. They have no idea the HELL they are bringing into you life by asking you to abort you[r] baby.”
For those who have already undergone an abortion, she wants them to know that there is hope and forgiveness.
Leslie said having walking away from a second abortion and having her baby boy “was the BEST decision” of her life. “I was blessed with my amazing son […] Having him alone did not instantly set me free, but because I walked out of the baby butchering clinic with my baby I was lead to my dear friend which started me in my journey of being saved by the grace of God.”
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