Human Interest

‘I’ll never forgive myself’: Woman tells fellow passenger of past abortion

abortion

Katie Prejean McGrady, a Catholic speaker, writer, and podcast host, was sitting on a flight last summer next to a businesswoman. The two didn’t speak as nearly an hour went by. But then a picture of McGrady’s daughter popped up on her laptop screen, and led to a conversation that revealed deep abortion regret — which many post-abortive women experience.

At first, the conversation was casual, discussing McGrady’s daughter and her hopes of having more children. Then the conversation turned its focus to the other woman, and whether or not she had any children.

“I have two. Well, three. But only two here,” she told McGrady.

It could have been anything – a miscarriage, an accident, cancer. McGrady didn’t ask; she simply waited, and then the pain poured out of the woman sitting next to her. “I had an abortion when I was married to my first husband,” McGrady recalled her saying. “I was working in New York. Finance. Rising in the ranks. One of the only women with any power there. He was traveling all the time. Starting companies. Burning through cash. I was on the pill, forgot a few doses, we got pregnant… just bad timing.”

READ: Woman regrets abortion: ‘I was screaming inside for someone to tell me… keep the baby’

An abortion was scheduled within a week’s time. As she recalled the experience, she didn’t look at McGrady but focused on the seat in front of her.

“She continued, ‘We got divorced 4 years later. We’d both changed. He was never home. I was gaining influence at the company. We finally wanted kids and couldn’t…'”

There was a long, silent pause before the woman blamed the abortion for the destruction of both her marriage and her ability to have children. And she’s right. Abortion can cause deep divides between spouses, including feelings of hatred, blame, and anger.

 

“We knew someone was missing, but neither of us wanted to admit it had been a mistake,” she said. “And I was hurt. My body wasn’t the same.”

McGrady expressed sympathy for the woman’s loss and deep sorrow. “‘No. I’m the one that’s sorry,’ she said back,” according to McGrady. “‘I deprived the world of my child, I deprived myself of my child, & I’ll never forgive myself for that.'”

Eventually, the woman remarried and adopted two children. Still, she has never forgotten her first child.

“Not a day goes by I don’t think of the baby I aborted,” she said, according to McGrady. “Not a single day. But the world isn’t designed for women to have babies. Especially if women want to work. Abortion shouldn’t be the answer. Our world should just be more supportive of mothers.”

Abortion regret is real and affects countless women. Post Abortion Stress Syndrome is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder, and can include depression, feelings of guilt and remorse, difficulty bonding with future children, suicidal thoughts, and suicide. But the abortion industry isn’t interested in helping the women that it emotionally scars and therefore, it denies that post-abortion syndrome and abortion regret even exist at all.

In addition to the psychological trauma that abortion can cause, it can also cause physical trauma, including perforated uterus, hemorrhaging, infertility, and even death.

Women never leave an abortion appointment the same person as when they arrived. They will carry with them forever the emotions involved with the experience, as well as the physical scars.

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