Kacie Schulz already had an open adoption with her first son when she was preparing for the birth and adoption of her second son, Arlo. Writing about her experience for Love What Matters, Schulz shared, “I had told myself that every adoption looks different, and so does the level of openness.” She had no expectations of being part of Arlo’s birth and first hours, waiting to take her cues from his birth mother, Angie. But in an amazing act of courage and love, Angie welcomed her with open arms.
At the hospital after Arlo’s birth, Schulz was disappointed to learn there was no room available for her to stay at the hospital. She was taken aback when Angie said, “You can stay with us. You can stay in our room. I don’t want you to have to go home.” While not wanting to intrude, Schulz was thrilled at the possibility of staying and spending time with Arlo and Angie.
READ: Birth mom praises open adoption: ‘All my fears were replaced with joy’
The days that followed with Schulz and Angie sharing a hospital room with baby Arlo ended up being a life-changing experience for Schulz. She writes, “The time we had together wasn’t something I expected, but I wouldn’t spend those hours any other way. It wasn’t weird. It wasn’t awkward. It was just two moms spending time loving the same son.” Schulz and Angie talked about Arlo’s ancestors and bonded over the emotional experience of his birth.
Schulz says that the relationships she continues to have with both of her sons’ birth mothers have “changed me in a way I never imagined.” Schulz asked Angie what the experience has meant for her, and Angie told her, “To us, open adoption is opportunity, courage, strength, and faith. We put our biggest miracle into loving arms, knowing each [adoptive] family has its story and reason [for pursuing adoption]. In the end, we are all brought together for the same reason. The reason is to celebrate the joy of our son, Arlo, in everlasting love.”
Many myths about adoption persist, and Schulz’s story of families coming together out of shared love for a child shed light on the beauty of open adoption. Schulz stresses that every relationship is unique and not every adoption will look like Arlo’s. Nonetheless, such life-changing relationships are possible. One commenter on Schulz’s Instagram shared, “We didn’t know each other very well at all when my daughter was born, but her birth mom was so gracious to let me be with her throughout labor and delivery. Six years later, she is one of my best friends and I thank God for her every single day.”
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