From the time she was four years old, Joycelyn Diane Golden’s life was marred by sexual abuse. She first suffered at the hands of a family member, and later, a friend of her brother’s took advantage of the vulnerable young girl.
When Golden was 22 years old, she was drugged by someone she thought was a “friend” — and when she awoke, realized she had been sexually exploited. The traumatized young woman couldn’t remember how she got home, where she was living in her mother’s basement.
Golden told Live Action News, “I was so messed up. I left college and had a hard time getting close to anyone, especially sexually. My mom had always been distant, and we both never could understand the other.”
When Golden discovered she was pregnant from the rape, her mother promptly took her to have an abortion.
“I didn’t want any children, so it was an easy decision for me,” Golden said. “When the doctor first told me I was pregnant, I immediately responded that I wasn’t keeping the baby. It was, I believed, just a blob of tissue.”
For Golden, the baby forming in her womb wasn’t real; she didn’t consider her child a human being. “The idea of being pregnant for nine months and bringing life into the world wasn’t something I wanted to do,” Golden said.
After undergoing the surgical abortion, Golden started experiencing cramps and excessive bleeding for about two weeks. Her mother told her it was normal, but eventually Golden visited a free clinic and was treated for an infection.
“The doctor wanted to know the circumstances that led to this infection, it was that serious,” Golden said. After the abortion, Golden’s mother, ridden with guilt for her part in killing her grandchild, tried to pull various men into her daughter’s life, hoping Golden would marry and settle down.
Golden said, “She wanted me to have another child as if to atone for the one we had conspired to kill.”
She tried to numb her pain with alcohol and drugs
But Golden’s life spiraled downward. She soon started smoking weed and drinking heavily. She became a full-blown alcoholic by the time she was 29 years old.
She entered the Teen Challenge rehabilitation program – which, she noted, wasn’t limited to teens – to address her history of sexual abuse and the abortion. All the things that were taken from her – her innocence and her baby – had profoundly impacted her life.
“During my second year at Teen Challenge, I started attending Bible college, though I was still battling alcohol and drugs at that time,” Golden said.
Spiritual mentor becomes the catalyst for redemption and pro-life activism
Through a series of events, she met Martha Reeves, who became her spiritual mentor and who would be the catalyst for Golden to become active in the pro-life movement. Reeves and her husband, Bud, were involved in a pro-life ministry, the Sanctity of Human Life Network. But the Reeves’ pro-life principles were at odds with Golden’s ‘pro-choice’ attitude.
Golden said, “I constantly argued with [them], telling them that I didn’t know how to vote or what to do or what to think when it came to pro-life issues. I just wasn’t there yet.”
Then one day, Golden picked up a brochure the couple left for her to see. She studied the birth chart which depicted the fetus at various stages throughout development. Golden realized what she had done.
“This was my child who I had allowed to be murdered,” Golden said. “It was such an awakening. I asked God for forgiveness for what I had done. I was trying to figure it all out.”
In her soul, she heard God tell her she was forgiven and that her baby had been a boy. She went out with the Reeveses, who were involved in sidewalk advocacy, and visited colleges in Sacramento, Oakland, and Berkeley to share her testimony and distribute flyers. She read about Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, and her advocacy of eugenics.
Golden said, “I knew I had to speak out for my son and to speak out for other women, especially those who were forced to have abortions, like my friend who was with the Black Panther movement. The pain doesn’t just go away for these women.”
When she attended a Walk for Life event in Oakland, it drew many protesters. Golden used her sweet singing voice to inspire those around her.
“I was compelled to sing, ‘We Shall Overcome,’ to bring peace to all chaos and negativity that day,” Golden said.
While Golden is now strongly pro-life, she often clashes with family members who are vocal about their pro-abortion beliefs. She notes that many clergy members, too, have rejected her efforts to address pro-life issues.
Golden said, “I will continue to try to talk to women of color, bringing the truth to light that babies in the womb deserve to live. So many people are suffering because of the choices they’ve made. Men, too, grieve in ways we cannot understand.”
Today, Golden serves as the director of a community center. She has never married nor had any other children and has experienced long-term physical and emotional effects of her abortion.
“Something really bad happened during that abortion,” Golden said. “I had painful menopause symptoms and throughout my life, grappled with establishing healthy relationships. Abortion hurts women, but in Jesus, we can find redemption and healing.”
Editor’s Note, 4/3/24: This post has been revised from its original version, due to a need for clarification of certain details.
