Human Interest

Woman still grieves after being forced into abortion by abusive husband: ‘I was heartbroken’

abortion, boyfriend, counselor

Desperate to become a mother, Annie (not her real name) turned to in vitro fertilization (IVF) – a decision she would later regret — when infertility problems threatened to derail her dream of motherhood. She became pregnant after two miscarriages but was later coerced to abort her son by her husband.

“In my home country of Eastern Europe, I was raped as a young girl. The assault was very traumatic and worse, the offender got a light sentence,” Annie told Live Action News. “When I learned I was expecting a boy, I developed an irrational fear that he could grow up to be a rapist. My husband used that fear against me, insisting I have an abortion, claiming I wasn’t mentally stable enough to raise a son.”

Annie did not want to abort the child she had yearned for. Struggling with depression, she felt alone, without any support. Her husband’s verbal abuse escalated, and he badgered her to terminate the pregnancy. But when he drove her to the abortion facility, she resisted.

“I became hysterical and ran from the room,” Annie said. “The woman at the clinic told my husband she could not force me to have the abortion. She was unwilling to acquiesce to his pressure.”

But Annie’s husband was determined she abort their child. He would “switch back and forth” between promising they could later try for a girl, to threatening to take away the child and send her back to her country if she didn’t comply. Eventually, he transported her out of state to get the procedure at a West Coast medical facility.

“He put so much effort into ensuring I had the abortion and even became physically abusive,” Annie said. “He was so manipulative and unrelenting, that I caved under the pressure.”

A botched abortion

During the abortion procedure, that abortionist accidentally cut a major vein in Annie’s uterus, and afterward, she remembers feeling weak, standing at the sink while the nurse helped her pour blood out of her shoes. No ambulance was ever called, and neither the nurse nor Annie’s husband seemed particularly concerned about her well-being.

Back home, the bleeding eventually stopped, but a blood clot had formed in Annie’s uterus, and she was experiencing intense pain. She insisted her husband take her to the emergency room. She thought doctors would remove the blood clots, but was later informed by a surgeon that she needed to have stents inserted into the iliac vein in her uterus. Annie declined the procedure. The surgeon angrily told her he could give her blood thinners and release her, but she’d live with pain the rest of her life.

READ: Though her abusive husband tried to kill her, she chose life for her triplet daughters

 

“The doctors went ahead anyway, despite my protests, and inserted the stents,” Annie said. “They basically overruled my objections. When I woke up and found out what had been done, I was angry and desolate. I later learned the stents were experimental and not FDA approved. I felt like they had used me as an experiment.”

Afterward, the hospital would not provide Annie with the medical records from the surgery. It wasn’t until Annie threatened to get a court order that her records were finally released. Further, because the stents were experimental, written consent from Annie for the surgery was not required.

The tipping point

Scarred from her ordeal, Annie was certain she would never have a child. Yet, she became pregnant – this time naturally – enraging her husband who demanded she again end the pregnancy. For Annie, she finally found the strength to say no. She wasn’t ever going to undergo another abortion.

“No woman should ever have to go through what I went through,” she said. “My emotions from the experience are still raw. When the abortionist botched the procedure and endangered my life, everyone covered up for him. Abortion destroys those who are most vulnerable: the woman and the preborn.”

While Annie’s dream of motherhood was realized when she delivered a healthy son, her joy was short-lived. After initiating divorce proceedings, her husband hid her immigration papers and had authorities take her son away from her – as he had threatened to do.

“My husband claimed I was a mentally unstable and unfit mother,” Annie said. “I remember the police coming and taking my child from my arms. I was heartbroken and felt so powerless.”

Today, Annie is attempting to get custody of her toddler son, but is without the financial means to do so. She has reached out to organizations that provide low-cost legal services, but their current caseloads are overwhelming. She is exploring other options and is committed to do everything she can to be able to raise her son with conservative values.

How abortion and IVF exploit women

Annie believes that abortion is a war against women and the preborn. She doesn’t understand why women would think abortion is safe, but suspects it’s due to the abortion industry cleverly marketing abortion access as a women’s right to health care.

“I see billboard signs everywhere advertising abortion as health care, but that’s a lie,” she said. “Abortion adversely affects a woman’s health. The abortion industry seeks to normalize the murder of the preborn by convincing women abortion is no more than a safe, routine procedure. I will continue to speak the truth, that abortion is a crime against humanity and should be banned.”

As for IVF, Annie was stunned to learn a test with dubious accuracy is used to gauge whether an embryo is “abnormal” and should be discarded. Couples eager to conceive are led to believe IVF is their only option, when often, it isn’t. Annie is convinced both the abortion and IVF industries are motivated by financial gain and power.

“If I knew as much about IVF as I know today, I would have never done it,” Annie said. “IVF was hard on me emotionally and physically. I believe now in leaving everything in God’s hands. The science can be misleading. Research your options and always know the ramifications.”

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