Pregnant and need to make a choice? Here’s one that doesn’t get mentioned enough.

miscarriage, ultrasound, abortion

I find that arguments about abortion follow a pretty predictable route. First, the word “anti-choice” gets thrown around a lot. It always sounds odd when that term applied to pro-lifers; after all, if anyone’s helping to limit women’s choices, it’s the abortion industry.

Abortion is an excellent way to both cover up abuse and avoid taking responsibility, so I tend to cite the many examples of women being violently coerced into visiting a clinic. Pointing to surveys showing that more than half of women who abort feel pressure to do so is another habit of mine.

Next comes an effort to dehumanize preborn children, usually by calling them “tissue” or “a mass of cells”–words that, when you really get down to it, could describe all of us. That’s typically when I explain how those cells develop a heartbeat less than a month after conception, while eyes and fingernails show up a mere a month after that. This rarely goes over well. Neither does bringing up research by Dr. Kawaljeet Anand that suggests a pre-born child is capable of feeling pain by the twentieth week of a pregnancy. In fact, the response often looks something like this:

bearcub comment

Yeah, you knew we’d get here soon or later. It’s no longer an argument over personal personal choice or whether the fetus magically becomes a person at birth. No, now it’s just about pushing women into a false dilemma: Either raise a baby you’re not ready for or have an abortion. This notion would be almost laughable if it weren’t so insidious. Because the truth is that even if you’re not ready to raise your baby, there are plenty of people who are, and they’d really love to meet you.

Because adoption doesn’t receive enough attention in the mainstream media, a lot of people don’t know what it actually involves. Many believe it simply consists of a woman handing her child over to an unseen couple that she will never meet. Known as a “closed adoption,” this choice does exist, and for some women it’s the right one. Today, however, a lot of birth moms are selecting the parents who will raise their children and forging new relationships in the process. Some of them are turning to websites like ParentProfiles for help.

With a layout that vaguely resembles a dating site, ParentProfiles offers a venue for birth moms and hopeful parents to find each other. Once a couple proves that they’ve met their state’s pre-adoption requirements, they create a profile that you can easily browse. In addition to including pictures and basic information, the profile features an open letter from the couple providing details about their life. The site also allows you to search for couples based on a number of criteria, such location and religion, along with the age and gender of the child they’re seeking. A couple can be contacted via their profile page, while many also list email addresses, chat IDs and phone numbers.

Adoption isn’t an easy process and it’s not the answer for everyone. However, if you’re pregnant and not ready to be a parent, then it at least deserves some thought. And while adoption isn’t something that the abortion lobby and their friends like to talk about, the couples on ParentProfiles can’t wait to tell you about it.

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