Pregnant with her ninth child, Deirdre Cooper had no idea that her pro-life principles would be put to test in the coming months.
Cooper wasn’t permitted to have her husband with her during her 20-week sonogram in December 2020 at the height of the COVID pandemic — but to her, everything appeared normal.
She wasn’t concerned until the nurse practitioner asked her if she had any problems with prior pregnancies.
An unexpected diagnosis
Cooper told Live Action News, “The nurse told me my baby was measuring small and that there was an excess of amniotic fluid as well as cysts on the brain. This was a sign of something concerning.”
Because the baby was moving around so much, the sonogram couldn’t get an accurate picture of the baby’s diaphragm and abdominal wall. Cooper was sent to a high-risk obstetrician for further testing.
“I was shocked and googled everything I could to find out what might be happening with my baby,” Cooper said. “I knew something was wrong and researched Trisomy 18 based on the defects that were present.”
It was an agonizing time for Cooper and her husband Kody as they waited to see the specialist. Once again, Kody was shut out as a precautionary measure due to COVID protocols.
Cooper said, “I kept pushing for him to be there. Finally, the staff agreed that if the sonogram results were bad, they would bring my husband in through the back door for the diagnosis. I thought it was ridiculous for them to treat a scared, pregnant woman in this way.”
Because the sonogram was more in-depth, it would provide a clearer picture of any abnormalities. Afterward, as promised, the technician escorted Cooper’s husband to her side. The couple knew the news was dire.
“We learned that our baby had club feet, and his intestines were protruding through a stomach opening,” Cooper said. “Additionally, the cysts on his brain were visible and his head was ‘strawberry shaped’ from the top down. His heart was on the right side of this chest. These, we were told, were markers for Trisomy 18.”
As Cooper and her husband held hands and cried, they struggled with how to move forward. The doctor, however, had an “easy” answer.
“She informed us she’d leave the room to give us time to consider terminating the pregnancy,” said Cooper.
“I wasn’t going to give up”
When Cooper told the doctor she and her husband were pro-life and wouldn’t consider an abortion, the doctor was taken aback at her response.
“To us, it was such a kick in the gut,” Cooper said. “She saw no value in our son’s life. She saw only his problems.”
One woman’s opinion didn’t stop Cooper from seeking medical care for her son. She arranged to have an echocardiogram and blood work to uncover more information about his condition. The echocardiogram showed a small hole in her son’s heart.
Cooper said, “I wasn’t going to give up. I found a high-risk physician who was pro-life. I also saw my regular obstetrician as well. He was more willing to allowing my husband to accompany me to appointments, which was a relief.”
Because Cooper’s son also had omphalocele, a birth defect where organs grow outside the body, it was likely he would have to undergo surgery post-birth.
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“I found some resources for families that have been given fatal diagnosis,” Cooper said. “I talked to others who had children with Trisomy 18. But there were few; most people choose to abort their children, so doctors don’t know much about Trisomy 18 because they rarely see children with this condition.”
The Coopers prepared for all outcomes and wrote a birth plan. They wanted all their medical team around them when their baby was born and arranged to have him baptized. At 36 weeks, Cooper’s labor was induced.
Cooper said, “His head was enlarged enough to safely deliver him naturally. We wanted his siblings to be in the room as well during this time.”
Sadly, the son they named Bosco Joseph Paul was stillborn.
“I pulled him up and laid him on my chest,” Cooper said. “We bathed and dressed him. His siblings came to see him and each child held him. We have a picture of Bosco with every one of his siblings.”
In retrospect, Cooper wishes she had undergone a cesarean birth, as it may have been less traumatic for her son. But she knows that he’s now in God’s loving hands.
“A very bittersweet time”
Cooper said, “It was a very bittersweet time. Our children sang the Coventry Carol to him, and we said Catholic prayers.”
That night, Bosco stayed with the couple in a CuddleCot™, a device which keeps babies who have perished cool enabling bereaved parents to spend more precious time with their child. The nurses made mementos for the couple to take home and cherish.
“The experience taught our children how to prepare for death,” Cooper said. “It provided the closure we needed.”
While the loss of the son was heartbreaking for the Cooper family, God doesn’t waste pain. Cooper, who works as an analyst for Texas Alliance for Life, notes that Bosco’s story was instrumental in helping to pass legislation in Texas which led to the following:
- Doctors are now obligated to provide palliative care resources to families with a life limiting diagnosis.
- Hospitals now offer bereavement care and CuddleCots™. A grant program has been established to implement this care.
“Killing children with Trisomy 18 is a form of discrimination,” Cooper said. “Some of these children can and do live longer lives. You need to be your own advocate and find doctors who care about you and your child. I am so grateful for my pro-life obstetrician who was so supportive throughout our journey.”
