Woman after chemical abortion: “there it was—my almost nine-week-old fetus”

abortion trauma

The website has a feature that allows mothers to anonymously submit their abortion stories for publication online. The stories provide a look into the circumstances that led to the abortion decision, and how the actual abortion experience played out.

One woman, whose story was posted this week, shared her experience with a chemical abortion. Pregnant by a man she had been seeing while her boyfriend was out of town, the main impetus behind the abortion was her desire that he not find out about the affair. But the final abortion decision didn’t come easily to her, and ultimately she waited until right before her boyfriend came back in town to go through with it.

She recalls the pro-lifers outside who begged her not to go in, and says she wanted to listen to them. But at the time, preserving her relationship felt more imperative than her pregnancy.

That changed after her abortion, though. She recounts the events that ensued:

They called my name; I took the first pill. They gave me a bag with two more pills to take in eight hours and a few painkillers. Eight hours later, I did as I was told. I had severe cramping so I took the painkillers and fell asleep. I slept for maybe an hour and 45 minutes and when I awoke, I got out of bed to use the restroom.

What would happen next would would haunt her forever:

When I stood up, I felt a big glob fall out of me onto a pad I was wearing. When I got to the bathroom to see, there it was—my almost nine-week-old fetus. No blood yet, just a fetus.

The woman recalls “freaking out” at the sight of her young child. “Afterwards, I bled a lot and had cramps,” she said, “but nothing was worse than the pain I have to live with knowing I killed an innocent child.”

The woman wants other women to know that, even though an unplanned pregnancy can be terrifying, God doesn’t make mistakes when a new life comes into existence. Prior to her abortion, her boyfriend finding that another man had fathered her child seemed to be the worst thing that could happen.  Unfortunately, it took coming face-to-face with her abortion decision to to realize that losing her innocent child was an even more tragic outcome of her actions.

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