I waited in the next room as she took her pregnancy test. When the test came up negative, she came to me with a look of sheer gratitude. ‘I do not want to have a baby with this man,’ she said. ‘He’s a jerk.’ As we talked, I asked her a simple question. ‘Why are you involved in a sexual relationship with someone you don’t even respect?’
Tears welled up in her eyes throughout our conversation. Her boyfriend told her she had to abort if she got pregnant. He insisted men should be the ones to make pregnancy decisions. When I asked her why she was giving herself to someone she didn’t trust, the answer she gave was, ‘I don’t know.’
This teenage girl walked in to our Pregnancy Resource Center just to take a test. Since then we’ve been meeting to talk about love, sex and healthy relationships. I enjoy every visit with this beautiful and bright young woman.
This weekend I took a group of teenagers to an event called ‘Silver Ring Thing’. Silver Ring Thing is a Christian event for teens to learn about the value of waiting until marriage to have sex. Their mission is “to create a culture shift in America where abstinence becomes the norm again rather than the exception.”
Silver Ring Thing is not your grandmother’s chastity lesson. It’s a well done, entertaining and engaging show. The event opens up with strobe lights, breakdancing and hip hop beats. Throughout the night the teens are shown powerful skits, hilarious short videos on sex and relationships and moving personal stories. I took the teens from my church’s youth group. I knew if this event was even slightly ‘cheesy’ or boring, I would hear about it later. One of the girls I brought told me she was laughing and moved to tears during the night. The girls made me get one of the speakers after the event so they could take a selfie with him. That in teenage terms is a sure sign of admiration.
Why did I give up my Saturday night to take teens to an event on delaying sex till marriage? I did it because this message is vital for a young generation to hear. I talk to girls in our center who are desperate for love and affection.
A young woman walked into our center last week, shook my hand and said, ‘I think I’m pregnant, and I don’t want it.’ I heard that statement before I even got her name. After talking with her I realized she’s a sweet person who’s fighting hard for affection. Her father is absent and her mom is too busy for her. Our society says offering these women birth control is a quick fix to protecting them from the risks of sex. This young woman, like others I’ve worked with are already on forms of birth control. Sadly IUD’s, condoms and pills are little help to them in their confused emotional state.
Abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid STD’s, teen pregnancy and negative emotional consequences from sex. The client who told me she didn’t want her baby is the same girl who squealed when she saw my wedding pics. She said, ‘I didn’t think I wanted to get married, but maybe I do.’ That same girl opened her mouth wide when she heard I was a virgin before marriage. With a look of awe she said, ‘that’s so rare, you have no idea how good it is to hear that.’
Some of the young ladies I talk to don’t even believe it’s possible to wait for sex. They don’t believe it’s possible because the media, their friends and everyone around them is telling them the opposite. That’s why events like Silver Ring Thing are so valuable. These events proclaim the truth that it’s okay to wait to have sex.
At the end of the Silver Ring Thing event the teens had a chance to get a purity ring. The ring is a symbol of their commitment to abstain until marriage. The teens I brought were eager to get their rings. I woke up the next morning to see Facebook and Instagram posts of the rings on their fingers. That was a sign that the message hit home. Waiting for sex until marriage isn’t an easy decision, but it’s worth it. Check out Silver Ring Thing’s event page and bring teens when they come to your city.