One of the great things about moving to a small town is that people start to recognize you. One of the not so great things? People start to recognize you. That becomes pretty clear when you’re standing in line at Walgreen’s holding a pregnancy test kit. It gets even more obvious when you remember that you’ve recently talked to the cashier about your awesome girlfriend…who lives three time zones away. Now, you may think that if you just explain how you’re buying the kit for a platonic friend who’s too anxious to come in herself, it’ll make things less awkward. It won’t.
Naturally, the difficulty of this experience doesn’t compare with actually taking a pregnancy test, particularly if you really don’t feel like you’re ready to be a mom. And, if it comes back positive, then there’s a couple things that you might start hearing. The first is a reminder about how it’s “really hard” being a single parent (as if you didn’t already know that). The second involves an attempt to dehumanize your baby by referring to her or him as “it,” often through questions like, “So what are you going to do about it?” This can persist even after your child has developed eyes, legs, fingerprints and, according to some research, an ability to feel pain. By that point, the effort somehow comes off as both impressive and pathetic at the same time.
The goal, of course, is to make abortion seem like an acceptable alternative to single motherhood. And indeed, a lot of abortion advocates act as though it’s the only alternative. If that’s the message you’ve been getting, then there’s a few hundred people I want to introduce you to. They’re eager to talk and ready to offer another option. Best of all, they’re only a few clicks away.
There’s a lot of misconceptions about adoption. One of the most common is that a woman has to turn her baby over to a pair of strangers. While that choice is still available, a lot of birth moms are forming relationships with their adoptive families. Some are doing that online through sites like Adoption.com –a place where hopeful parents post information about themselves and how they can be reached.
Before their profile goes up, a couple has to verify that they’ve been vetted by their adoption service. Once that happens, the aspiring parents can be searched out based on location, religion, family size, and a number of other criteria. For example, if you’re looking for a mom and dad in Virginia, then you might check out Angela and Matt Bernier. Having already adopted a son, the two are hoping for a second child as well. In addition to their profile page, the Berniers can also be reached toll free at 1-888-620-2025 or via by email at [email protected]
Adoption.com also allows you to read and listen to what women have to say about their adoption stories. While they range from high school students to professionals, they all speak of having love for their children and a desire to express that love through adoption. Finally, the site provides access to useful info, including practical advice about pregnancy and what to expect during the adoption process.
Unfortunately, it’s easy to feel like you only have two choices when you’re carrying an unexpected baby. The truth is that there are plenty more out there, and they’d really like to hear from you.