In 2008 The Population Research Institute published a testimony from the former medical director of an abortion clinic whose name was given as Zlata. Although she had been so committed to abortion that she worked in the clinic for six years, Zlata now considers herself pro-life. She tells her story:
“I remember assisting, once in particular, in the operating room at the clinic where I had been a medical assistant for six years. I was standing behind the doctor and could see everything as he was performing an abortion on a woman who was 20 – 22 weeks pregnant.”
At 20 weeks, the baby is fully developed. He or she weighs about 9 ounces and is about 10 inches long. She has fingers, toes, a face, and every organ a newborn baby has, including, if female, a uterus and ovaries of her own. Her voice box has developed to the point where she goes through the motions of crying. She is able to taste, and in one experiment, babies around her age were shown to drink less amniotic fluid when poppyseed oil was added to it, making it taste bitter. She has been able to hear since 14 weeks after conception, She responds to touch and may be able to feel pain. You can see a moving 4D sonogram picture of a 21-week-old baby here. In the sonogram, you can clearly see the child’s face.
According to the clinic worker:
“I could see the baby’s face. I don’t know how to describe what I felt at that moment. I realized that we just killed a human being. But at the same time I thought: it is legal, so it must be all right. But my whole being was just screaming against what I just saw. I felt death. I was ashamed and confused as I was staring at the bloody parts of the baby. I can even say I felt the presence of the devil. It was very disturbing. My mind was so blinded by the darkness in it I was unable to do anything.
Sometimes I think about that day and feel that I should have run away, or tried to stop this madness. What were we doing, as medical professionals, as human beings? What happened to our hearts? Where was our compassion?
If this baby had been born prematurely at 20 – 22 weeks it would have had a chance to live. I thought, “People, think about what are you doing. What am I doing?” Think about the consequences of this abortion. Imagine this is you. Imagine you are in the most secure place you could be, in your mother’s womb. You have no idea how cruelly your life will end, how you will be torn to pieces. We betray our children. We interrupt their precious lives so abruptly, so unexpectedly. You think abortion brings relief, but instead it brings emptiness, shame, pain, regret, feelings of death. For six years abortion was the way I put bread on my table. For six years it was my life…”
This clinic worker has examined her conscience. She has shown great courage in facing up to her past work in the clinic. The emotional strength that she has displayed by coming forward with her story is something that should be appreciated by all pro-lifers. It is so easy to anesthetize one’s conscience. No one wants to admit to others, or to themselves, that they have done something wrong. When clinic workers come forward, we need to support and accept them.
The clinic worker finishes her testimony by saying:
“This is only the beginning of my story. My heart is burning more and more to tell everyone the truth. You are going to be hearing from me many, many times. I pray that God, the only God that we all have, will open your hearts and give you wisdom and passion to stand up and speak up! WAKE UP, WORLD! WAKE UP!!!”
I hope that everyone reading this will be inspired by her courage and enthusiasm. She is just one of many examples of how a heart can be changed and a life turned around. Anyone can make a new beginning – it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or what mistakes you’ve made – anyone can turn around and dedicate themselves to doing the right thing going forward. I hope that if there is anyone reading this who hates clinic workers and feels that reaching out to them is a waste of time, that you reconsider and find compassion. Never give up on anyone.