Joy Singh never anticipated that spending New Year’s Eve with a casual male acquaintance would result in an unplanned pregnancy, a chemical abortion, and a desire to end her own life.
Singh had just completed college and moved to Arizona for a job, with plans to attend graduate school.
“I was in such turmoil”
“A few weeks after the New Year’s Eve incident, I felt ill and realized that my menstrual period was late,” Singh told Live Action News. “I took a pregnancy test which was positive. I was in such shock; I couldn’t believe this was happening to me.”
As reality set in, Singh kept hoping she’d miscarry, relieving her of the responsibility of impending motherhood. She decided to inform her male friend about the pregnancy.
“He told me he was Catholic and that he was against abortion,” Singh said. “But he also informed me he had to move back home to deal with some family issues and that I couldn’t depend on him to help with a baby.”
Singh didn’t know what to do or where to turn. Ironically, it was she who had persuaded friends facing unplanned pregnancies to choose life. Now she was in the same dilemma.
Singh said, “I was in such a turmoil that I couldn’t eat or sleep. If I could have taken my brain out of my skull and placed it on a shelf, I would have. I felt like I was going crazy.”
An abortion, she decided, was her only option. She wasn’t earning much at her job, her college loans were coming due, and she was without support.
The abortion facility lied… and she saw her baby
“I was almost five weeks, and I knew that’s when the baby’s heart starts to beat,” Singh said. “I scheduled appointments at the clinic and canceled twice. But I had to draw a line in the sand, so I kept the next appointment.”
Because she was early in the pregnancy, she was advised to have a chemical abortion. But first, she was given an ultrasound. As she entered the exam room, she noticed a still image on the monitor, but the technician quickly moved the monitor toward the wall.
Singh said, “I knew in my spirit that something wasn’t right. But I had paid for the abortion and there was no turning back. I underwent the ultrasound, with the monitor away from me. Then I was given the first pill and was forced to open my mouth to show the nurse I had swallowed it.”
She was told repeatedly that she was “doing the right thing” and advised not to eat anything “healthy” like green vegetables that could encourage cell growth.
“I started justifying in my head why I couldn’t have this baby to make myself feel better,” Singh said. “I was told that if I didn’t take the second pill, I’d give birth to a deformed baby.” (This is false. Read more here.)
When the time came for her to complete the abortion with the second pill, Singh was overcome with despair and felt she had to get away. She took time off work and drove to San Diego, longing to see the ocean.
Singh said, “I got a room at a cheap hotel in San Diego. The second pill [misoprostol] initiated the worst pain I’ve ever felt. When my baby came out into the toilet, I picked it up and held it my hands for some time, crying over the loss.”
That night, yearning for death, she consumed 8-10 Advil (ibuprofen), and nothing happened.
A supernatural encounter and a path to healing
The next day, troubled and confused, she walked to the beach hoping to find some relief from her anguish. It was a cool, cloudy day and the beach was quiet. As she stood gazing out at the ocean in solitude, she noticed an older man standing nearby.
“Strangely, I never heard him come up,” Singh said. “I was the only one on the beach that day, so I was surprised to see him.”
Then the man spoke, saying, “Wouldn’t it be nice if the ocean waves could wash away the pain?”
Singh said, “I asked him why he said that. He told me he was a pastor who lived in San Diego and that God told him to go to the beach, a place he never visits, because there was a woman there who needed his help.”
It was as if God sent her an angel in the form of this fatherly man who went to the exact spot where Singh was standing. Singh poured out her story. The man told her his wife had an abortion before they met and that he had guided her toward healing.
“This pastor gave me hope,” Singh said. “I thought I would be condemned for life.”
The man wrote down three churches in the Phoenix area where she lived and encouraged her to visit one. She had grown up in a Christian home but never attended church, nor did she have a relationship with Jesus.
Singh said, “I didn’t want to go back home. Those were the hardest days afterward.”
But she did visit a church and, at first, didn’t speak to anyone.
“I just sat in the back and cried,” Singh said. “One day, I went into the bathroom at church and saw a notice for a post-abortive Bible study, ‘Forgiven and Set Free.’ I signed up to attend the retreat. It was tough at first, but I was surrounded by women who suffered from abortion like I had.”
There, she learned about forgiveness. She could forgive both the young man who fathered her child, the nurse at the abortion clinic, and others — but struggled to forgive herself.
Singh said, “I had to learn to accept the salvation Jesus offered. When I was battling guilt and shame, I kept telling myself repeatedly that I am forgiven and am covered by Jesus’ redemptive love until I began to believe it.”
Eventually Singh started sharing her story from the pulpit and with other women. Today, she is a facilitator for a “Forgiven and Set Free” Bible study retreat for post-abortion recovery.
“God led that pastor to the beach that day to save my life,” Singh said. “I will be forever grateful to him for setting me on the path toward healing.”
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