The Cost of Compassion: Compliance with the Law Inside an Abortion Clinic

In 1994 a law was enacted in Pennsylvania that required a pregnant mother scheduled for an abortion be offered information on the gestation and development of the growing baby she planned to abort, hear a description of the abortion and risks from a doctor, have an opportunity to have her questions answered, and wait 24 hours before having the abortion, (and for minors to have the consent of one parent—but that’s a nugget for another time.)

Predictably, the management of the abortion clinic where I worked was UP IN ARMS! Oppression! Mistrusting women! Logistical nightmare! … Increased price…

We couldn’t possibly pay DOCTORS to TALK to the pregnant mothers!! We already gave each woman counseling before her abortion. Most pregnant mothers spent a full 10 to 12 whole minutes with an unlicensed non-therapist about an hour before undergoing irreversible invasive surgery that killed her growing baby and removed it from her womb. And now the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania was going to insinuate itself into the “doctor”-patient relationship by demanding a pregnant mother hear a physician explain the abortion procedure and risks (gasp!), that she be given a chance to learn more about the level of development of her baby before killing it (the horror!), an opportunity to have her questions answered (double-gasp!), that she be told of alternatives to abortion and agencies that offer financial and practical assistance to pregnant mothers (the nerve!) and that she wait TWENTY-FOUR HOURS (outrageous!) before aborting her babe! Obviously, for the abortion industry, this was simply unacceptable.

Read more The Cost of Compassion: Compliance with the Law Inside an Abortion Clinic

Is Nothing Sacred?

When I learned that an abortion clinic in Austin, Texas was performing abortions on Christmas Eve I immediately thought, “Is nothing sacred?” Rapidly my mind shifted to a memorable episode of the iconic television series of my childhood M*A*S*H where a surgeon frantically tries to keep a mortally wounded solider alive on the operating table of the mobile army hospital where he was stationed, “…so his kids won’t have to think of Christmas as the day that Daddy died.” When he inevitably fails, a fellow surgeon reaches up and pushes the hands of the clock to just past midnight before announcing time of death as 12:01 AM, December 26.

Weeping angel statue dedicated to those killed by abortion

Show me a home in America that doesn’t have a calendar with birthdays and anniversaries of loved ones marked on it. Show me a son who does not remember the day—and date—his father died. Show me an American older than 30 who does not remember precisely where she was on September 11, 2001—or an American older than 60 where he was on November 22, 1963. I’ll bet you can’t.

Recognizing the anniversaries of pivotal events in our lives seems vital to both our celebrations and our mournings. Birthdays, wedding anniversaries, deaths of loved ones, battle dates that will live in infamy; all are part of marking the meaningful passage of time on this planet. Thus it is for me and the woe of the date(s) that mark my abortion. There are two: the anniversary of my due date (on or about when my baby was to be born, July 20); and the anniversary of my abortion date (the day my baby was killed by abortion, January 6.)

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Abortion Hurts, Part Four: Healing

My personal history is extreme: high school dropout, coerced abortion as a teenager, self-injury, attempted suicide to escape the consuming guilt after killing my first baby, years spent working in an abortion clinic (trying to convince myself that killing children is acceptable), and finally accepting the truth and becoming pro-life and continuing along the long road to recovery. While I recognize and acknowledge that my experience is not common, it is not rare either, and it is shameful and dishonest for the pro-abortion PR machine to churn out propaganda pretending that post-abortion emotional trauma and regret do not exist.

In my dreams my not-sleeping mind creates a full life for my baby. When I am awake, I wonder what he’d be doing, what he’d look like, what career would he have chosen, would he be married by now—would I be a grandmother by now? There’s a thought that gives me great pause: so I exterminated not only my first child but my grandchild(ren) as well… When I met Live Action’s President and founder Lila Rose for the first time I was shaking with the knowledge that she was only a handful of months older than my first baby would be had I allowed him to live. There are times when fantasizing about my unpresent child leads to wistful melancholy, but thankfully it has not (again) led to the depths of despair and hopelessness it once had.

Read more Abortion Hurts, Part Four: Healing

Abortion Hurts, Part Three: Clinic and Conversion

After trying to kill myself to escape the overwhelming guilt after my abortion, I emerged from my month spent in an adolescent psychiatric unit with an incongruous newly-found zeal for abortion rights. Within weeks of my discharge from the psych unit, I found myself on a bus to Washington, D.C. to march for abortion rights and soon after I began volunteering as an escort for a first-trimester abortion clinic. An advanced degree in psychology isn’t necessary to see that I was plainly trying to assuage my guilt (and protect my delicate and damaged psyche) by assuming the precise opposite of what I truly believed. Freud called this reaction formation, one of many coping strategies he dubbed defense mechanisms. I certainly took reaction formation to the extreme by espousing the most diametrically opposed position of my innermost heart when I accepted the offer of a job at an abortion clinic.

Read more Abortion Hurts, Part Three: Clinic and Conversion

Abortion Hurts, Part Two: The Psychiatric Hospital

Editor’s Note: This is Part Two of a series on post-abortion recovery. Jewels Green is a post-abortive mother of three who worked in an abortion clinic before becoming pro-life. Read her original testimony here and her other articles here. You can read part one in this series on post-abortion pain and recovery, “Abortion Hurts, Part One: The Attempt” and watch for “Abortion Hurts, Part Three: Clinic and Conversion” coming soon.

I seemed to recover quite quickly from my suicide attempt that landed me in the ER. Seemed would be the key word in that sentence. The days and weeks following my abortion and my subsequent suicide attempt are a blurry mush in my memory. I know I went to my 3-week post-abortion follow-up appointment at the clinic (I only know this because I saw my chart years later, I have no recollection of this) and I know my body recovered from the painfully invasive physical assault that ended my baby’s life.  What is crystal clear in my mind, however, is that my abortion ended my relationship with my baby’s father. The remaining drops of my sanity evaporated when I moved back into my mother’s house.

I willingly attended psychotherapy sessions and obediently ingested psychotropic medication to try to slay the vicious guilt monster eating away at me, but the mild and temporary dulling of my senses would prove not to be enough.

Read more Abortion Hurts, Part Two: The Psychiatric Hospital

Abortion Hurts, Part One: The Attempt

Editor’s Note: This is Part One of a series on post-abortion recovery. Jewels Green is a post-abortive mother of three who worked in an abortion clinic before becoming pro-life. Read her original testimony here and her other articles here and watch for the next installment in this series of post-abortion pain and recovery, “Abortion Hurts, Part 2: The Psychiatric Hospital” coming soon.

What does it feel like to hurt yourself … on purpose? What is it like when the switch clicks in your brain and the hand raises, then lowers, the blade over your own skin? Does it feel right? Does it feel crazy (like it should)? Does it feel… better? The moment just before contact, when the anticipation of release is tantalizingly palpable—and you could stop, but don’t—what compels the hand to continue? What does it feel like when cold, hard, sharp, smooth metal makes contact with warm, pulsing, soft, fragile flesh?

I can tell you. For me, it felt right. It felt better. And it did not feel crazy (like it should).

Read more Abortion Hurts, Part One: The Attempt

STOP ABORTION — right after my turn

There was a framed single-panel comic that hung in the hallway just outside of the Executive Director’s office at the abortion clinic where I used to work: it was a pen-and-ink drawing of an umbrella bucket next to the entrance of an office building with a picket sign in it that read, “STOP ABORTION” in large block caps with “right after my turn” scratched under it in script.


It was a cheap shot at the number of post-abortive women who now vocally support the right-to-life of the unborn. Yes, they—we—are indeed asking, praying, and working to stop abortion, but the timing of our activism falling “after our turns” is for many of us why we became pro-life in the first place. We know the truth about the horror and brutality of abortion firsthand, and now want to save other pregnant mothers from making the same mistake(s) we did. It is not at all like the cartoon attempts to “humorously” illustrate: that a pro-life advocate dedicated enough to make and hold a “STOP ABORTION” sign outside of a clinic would sneak in to kill an inconvenient ill-timed baby and then march right back out the door, picking up her sign on the way out, and re-join the picket line. This is insulting and absurd.

Read more STOP ABORTION — right after my turn

Pro-life and committed to ending abortion: but NOT “by any means necessary”

Should breaking the law be advocated to advance the cause for life? Should violence be encouraged, condoned, or celebrated to further the cause for life? No, and no.

The pro-life movement has made great strides on the long road toward ending abortion in the United States—especially in the past few years. The zeitgeist is shifting, as evidenced by a CNN poll just last month that found 62% of Americans want abortion to be illegal in most or all circumstances. This finding dovetails nicely with the passage of the partial-birth abortion ban, ultrasound laws, and the proliferation of the 40 Days for Life peaceful prayer vigils that report hundreds of pregnant mothers turning away from the clinics and choosing life for their babies. These successes have been the culmination of countless hard-working people dedicated to tirelessly pursuing lawful avenues to bring about the end abortion in the United States.

We are winning, and should stay the course.

Read more Pro-life and committed to ending abortion: but NOT “by any means necessary”

On Bullying and Abortion and Forgiveness

I was bullied mercilessly as a child. I was poor, smart, and ugly. Not exactly the trifecta for female popularity in 1970s suburbia. The worst always happened at the bus stop and on the bus to and from elementary school. I was teased and kicked and hit and spat at for what I wore (mostly hand-me-downs from my aunt, 12 years my senior), for my short and flimsy “boy hair”, and because I was a “brain.” I even vividly remember purposely getting a question or two wrong on a quiz in fourth grade just so I didn’t have to pay for being “The 100% Girl” on the playground at recess.

The one time—the one time!—I had the courage to try to fight back, I took a lousy swing at a girl a few years older than me and my finger hooked into her necklace and it broke. It was picture day and her mother had lent her that necklace to wear for her school photos. Silent tears filled with regret and impotent rage streamed down my face as her mother held the broken necklace up to my nose in front of the She-Bully and my mother in my living room after school. Even writing about it now fills me with shame, anger, sorrow, and dread.

Read more On Bullying and Abortion and Forgiveness

Silent Witness: The Baby in the Jar

So much became daily business-as-usual while working at an abortion clinic year after year: the tears, the shouting parents and boyfriends, the drivers who accompanied abortion patients who said they were “going out for a cigarette” and then disappeared and abandoned the pregnant mother they’d brought in, the jokes in the lunchroom about the one who showed up with multiple other kids in tow. (We did not allow children in the waiting room. Ever.)

Preborn Human Feet
Preborn Human Feet

Even the macabre became commonplace. The gallows humor I’d seen in movies about medical staff who work around disease and death day in and day out was right at home in an abortion clinic.

I vividly remember the cleaning lady who quit after finding a foot in the drain of the one of the sinks in the autoclave room where the medical instruments were cleaned and sterilized after abortions. We all laughed and joked about it in the staff lounge for days and weeks afterward.

Read more Silent Witness: The Baby in the Jar

Abby Johnson Exposes Planned Parenthood’s Weak Link

Can you imagine abortion remaining legal but nowhere to be found?

Abby Johnson can.  And so can I.

Last night Abby Johnson, author of “Unplanned: The Dramatic True Story of a Former Planned Parenthood Leader’s Eye-Opening Journey Across the Life Line” spoke during a nationwide webcast attended by more than 5200 listeners with 40 Days for Life National Director David Bereit and Campaign Director Shawn Carney about Planned Parenthood’s “weak link”: the employees.

Read more Abby Johnson Exposes Planned Parenthood’s Weak Link

Pro-Abortion Propaganda

I have been hearing a lot from the pro-abortion movement lately about how pro-life “slacktivists” aren’t doing anything but waging a “war on women” by “elevating clumps of 32 cells above the level of a living, breathing, thinking human woman.” Obviously, I know (now) those misguided, ill-informed pro-abortion folks couldn’t be more wrong, but it reminds me too much of what I was like when I was one of them.

At the abortion clinic where I worked, I readily believed all of the misinformation fed to me about the “antis” holding those gory signs outside. I was told that pro-lifers cared nothing about women or families or children—only babies, and only unborn babies at that. I was told story after story about how this pro-life group or that crisis pregnancy center lied to women to “trick” them into staying pregnant and then would abandon them after the growing baby was beyond the legal limit for abortion. The most vivid (tall) tale I remember was of some unnamed group who extended financial assistance, prenatal care, and even drove a young mother to the hospital while she was in labor only to drop off a box of diapers the next day and refuse to return her calls after that. Or the rumor of the CPC counselor who showed a terrified teenager her pregnancy test stick with the two tell-tale blue lines indicating a positive (pregnant) result and explaining that the two lines meant she was pregnant with twins.

This is pro-abortion propaganda.

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